Les répliques sympatoches : séries (en VO)

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" - I'll keep trying to kill you for the rest of my life.
- Well, everyone needs a hobby. "

" Ok. Technically, i'm a serial killer. "

" Save the cheerleader, save the world. "

" Every hero is on a journey to find his place in the world. But it's a journey. You don't start at the end, otherwise they can't make a movie about it later."

" - Why do you want to be different?"
- Why do you want to be the same?"

" When I was a kid ... I used to wish some stranger would come and tell me my family wasn't really my family. They weren't bad people, they were just ... insignificant. And I wanted to be different. Special. I wanted to change. A new name, a new life. The watchmaker's son ... became a watchmaker. It is so futile. And I wanted to be ... important."

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(Skam étant une série norvégienne, la VO n'est pas de l'anglais mais c'est pas grave, je voulais absolument voir la série dans la liste car les répliques sont géniales donc elles seront mises en anglais, qui était de toute manière la langue grâce à laquelle la plupart des fans ont su regarder la série)

" You know, the only way to have something for eternity is by losing it. "

" Maybe, if we see the worst in others, it is exactly what they will show us. "

" - Do you also have a crazy mother ?
- She's not crazy, she's bipolar.
- Yeah, and how is she ?
- She's fucking awesome. "

" People experience horrible things everyday and they still manage to be nice to others. Being an asshole isn't something you're born as or something you become. It's a choice. "

" Fear spreads but fortunately, love does too. "

" - What are you talking about ?
- My integrity.
- You don't have any. Next subject. "

" Whether you believe in Allah or Jesus or evolution or parallel universes, there is only one thing we know for sure. That life is now. "

" - Your lipstick is a little bit...smudgy.
- I just ate, so...
- Ate ? Ate what ? A dick ? "

" I'm quite a big N.W.A fan. That's what you listen to when you want to feel though. "

" Hate doesn't come from religion, it comes from fear. "

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" Surprise, motherfucker. " (celle-là c'est un classique)

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" - I want us to see the world, Frank.
- I already saw it. It's a piece of shit. "

" Not eveybody gets to blurt out how they fuckin' feel every minute. "

" - I already blew it with my husband and i don't even have any kind of diagnosis to pin it on.
- Gallaghers.
- Gallaghers.
- That is kind of a diagnosis, though, right ?
- Kind of is. "

" Your life's not simple, Fiona, and you can't stop it from showing because you're no fake. You're not lost, you don't need finding. I swear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone i've ever met. You make me enjoy life again. " Steve (ouais je l'aimais bien ce connard, sue me)

" - KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, CARL !!
- I want a fucking lawyer, motherfucker. "

" - I could be all gender-liquid like you. You don't know.
- You mean gender fluid ?
- Fluids, liquids, whatever. "

" Frank doesn't have any friends. Only people he hasn't pissed of yet. "

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" Hi, i'm Tate. I'm dead. Wanna hook up ? "

" - I hate her ! I just want to kill her !
- Then do it. "

" I kill people i like. Some of them beg for their life. I don't feel sad. I don't feel anything. It's a filthy world we live in. It's a filthy goddamn helpless world. And honestly, i feel like i'm helping to take them away from the shit and the piss and the vomit that run in the streets. I'm helping to take them somewhere clean and kind. The world is a filthy place. It's a filthy goddamn horror show. There's so much pain, you know ? "

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" Good evening, idiot hookers. "

" Have fun being dead, Number 2. You were a stupid little slut and i hope you burn in hell. Amen. "

" Looks like the bitch apple doesn't fall far from the bitch tree."

" - We have to figure out a way to get rid of Chanel#6.
- When you say get rid of her, do you mean, like, force her to leave, or kill her ?
- Honestly, Number Five, do you think i'm insane ? The bitch seduced my boyfriend into getting her pregnant. Of course i mean kill her. "

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" - There is stuff happening out there and no one is doing anything about it. People are just getting away with awful things. I'm trying to make some of that right.
- That's the plot of Batman. "

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" Sometimes, everything is suddenly really simple. It's like everything shifts in a moment. You step out and you see where you are, really clearly. You see yourself...and you think...fuck...this...shit... "

" When you have silence, it's hard to keep stuff out. It's all there. "

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" We are the Kardashians and in this family, being a good person and a loyal friend is more important than being famous. " (cette pique, c'était magique)

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" - May the best man win.
- She usually does. "

" We don’t solve problems. We make them to point cameras at them. "

" Look, you're always saying that you want to be just like me, but all you've done is sucked off my fiancé and spread your legs for my boss. So, if you want to earn real power and respect, you're gonna have to step into your balls and grab it. Be your own woman...not somebody else's bitch. "

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" Power yoga is a really good thing to do because inner beauty is just as important as outer beauty. Like, can you have a CD without a CD player ? I don't think so."

" - Should we get our fortunes read ?
- I'll pass...Knowing the present is bad enough. "

" - You shouldn't make fun, Daria, there are some mysteries that are beyond our knowledge.
- Like the fact that the human ego is bloated enough to believe the force that created the universe gives a crap about our blowouts. "

" There's this assignment at school where we have to pick something we know we'd fail at. So i picked being conventional. "

" - Do you always talk to the computer ?
- Only when the refridgerator is mad at me."

" - Hey kiddo, how was your day ?
- Fine, i heard a new voice inside my head.
- Daria, you were just kidding about the voice, right ?
- Relax...We don't have to answer that. "

" I don't have low self-esteem. I have low self-esteem for everyone else. "

" - Daria, this is my stepmom, Ashley Amber. Do you recognize her ?
- I think so but it's so hard to remember your childhood nightmares clearly. "

" - Daria, what about your goal ?
- Um...I don't have any.
- Oh, come on Daria ! You must have some goal !
- My goal is to not wake up at 40 with the realisation that i wasted my life in a job i hate because i was forced to choose a carreer in my teens. "

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" The calzones...betrayed me ? "

" - Do you have any history of mental illness in your family ?
- I have an uncle who does yoga. "

" Is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy ? "

" Can you photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry ? "

" - Hey, i love you.
- Dude, shut up ! That is awesomesauce !

" I watched Enchanted three times to get all the details right and then another two times because that movie is amazing. "

" I guess I kind of hate most things, but I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool? "

" My whole life is a giant mess and i love it. "

" - You made me watch all 8 Harry Potter movies. I don't even like Harry Potter !
- That's insane ! You love Harry Potter ! You've seen all the 8 movies ! "

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" Robin, just...i appreciate your help, but there's a reason your name is Robin, not Batman. "

" - She's not gonna marry me like this.
- That's crazy. Of course, she will.
- Would u marry me ?
- No. But not because of the hair. It's because i have a rule : never marry anyone you've had a farting contest with.
- Ohhh, great. So now you're saying Lily and i shouldn't even get married ? "

" That’s how it goes, kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young, as the years go by, you just lose touch. You will be shocked when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it."

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" - Remember when i screwed your wife ?
- Yeah.
- That's it. I just wanted you to remember. "

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" Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. "

" - Force in it as deep as you can.
- That's what she said. "

" I'm not superstitious...but i am a little stitious. "

" - I'm starting my own paper company.
- In this climate ?
- In all climates. It's gonna be worldwide. "
" Sometimes, i'll start a sentence and i don't even know where it's going. I just hope i find it along the way. "

" Whenever i'm about to do something, i think ' Would an idiot do that ?' and if they would, i do not do that thing. "

" Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he's really not a part of our family. Also he's divorced...so he's really not a part of his family. "

" - I just got back from the future and i went to your funeral and guess what ? Nobody came.
- Speaking of funerals, why don't you go ahead and go die ? "

" Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information. "

" - I want you to think about it long and hard.
- That's what she said. "

" Saw Inception. Or at least dreamt i did. "

" Well, i'm going through a rough patch. The whole year, actually. "

" You're mean. You're mean girls... like the movie "Mean Girls"

" I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail. "

" You know what ? I have flaws. What are they ? Oh, i donno. I sing in the shower. Sometimes, i spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, i'll hit somebody with my car. "

" - Who's that ?
- Finn.
- Who's that ?
- Rachel.
- Which one's Glee ?
- You have to stop. "

" Ladies and gentlemen. I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car. I took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best they could...and she is going to be okay. "

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" - Today i drove to Van Nuys for an audition that i thought was for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
- Did you get the part ? "

" - Stop apologizing all the time !
- Sorry. "

" - Sorry, i'm late.
- What happened ?
- Nothing...I just really didn't want to come. "

" - Are you familiar with the recent study of Tanzanian chimpazees by Nashita and Osaka out of Kyoto University ?
- No. But i can name all the Kardashians. "

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" I act like i don't want anything because i never got anything i wanted. "

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" I don't wanna masturbate. I wanna conquer the planet !"

" Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV. "

" Get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack. All your shit so it's together and if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, ya know ? Take it to the shit store and sell it or put it in a shit museum. I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together. "

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" Wow, a model and a poet. So while you're doing porn, he can make the dialogue rhyme ! "

" - Are you suggesting that Juanita is fat for her age ?
- Gabby, Juanita's fat for your age. "

" Rex cries after he ejaculates. "

" - Money can't buy happiness.
- Sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting. "

" - If you don't like her, why are you putting on your best jewelry ?
- That's what grownups do when we don't like someone. We don't punch them or say mean things. We just find subtle ways to make them feel bad about their lives. "

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" - What are we doing ?
- Wasting our lives.
- I meant for lunch. "

" - You IDIOT !
- I'm sure you're right but why ? "

" - I really admire what you're doing. Just raising her all alone.
- I'm not alone. I have Ross.
- Sure. Now. But what happens when he meets somebody and gets married ?
- Well, then he gets divorce. It's Ross. "

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" - Do you guys know where i could get one of those gold necklaces with the "T" on it ?
- It's a cross.
- Across from where ? "

" I was a professional twice over, an analyst and a therapist. The world's first 'analrapist'. "

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" A passing grade ? Like a C ? Why don't i just get pregnant at a bus station ? "

" - She's calling him ?
- She was born in the 80's. She still uses her phone as a phone. "

" I don't get history. If i wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago, i'd watch Game Of Thrones. "

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" We say we're just protecting ourselves. But there's a point when we're the ones people need to be protected from. "

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" Life sucks and then it gets better and then it sucks again. "

" I want to go to my room and do weird stuff on my computer."

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" - YOU SUCK DICK !
- YOUR MOTHER TAUGHT ME HOW !! "

" I didn't mean to insult your intelligence or your integrity...Not that you would have a whole lot to insult. "

" I am not only on top of the mountain, i am the damn mountain. "

" You are a prime, human, living, breathing example of a guy who looks like Tarzan but wrestles like Jane. "

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" Welcome to the OC, bitch. "

" - Who are you ?
- Whoever you want me to be. "

" - Remember when the boys made us watch that movie about gay guys in the mountain ?
- Lord Of The Rings. "

" Do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone else's eyes ?"

" Listen, skank, just because you're saying really mean things in, like, a very nice voice doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just some stupid little skank. "

" - I'm sorry for all the craziness.
- I wouldn't have done it any differently. "

" God, i'm so screwed. Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. I get mad, i turn into, like, a 75 years old yenta named Sylvia. "

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" - That fish sandwich is our best seller. My customers say it tastes like...
- Horsecock ! " (Amy's Baking Company, on ne t'oubliera jamais, tu nous as donné les meilleurs épisodes)

" My gran could do better ! And she's dead ! "

" How about a thank you, you miserable wee bitch ? "

" - Is there anything today that i ate that wasn't microwaved ?
- The salad. "

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" Why did the chicken cross the road ? Because you didn't fucking cook it. "

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" I eat stickers all the time, dude ! "

" - Hey, I'm Mac. Welcome to Paddy's Pub. I would like to recommend to first-timers our signature blended drink, Caribbean Paradise. People say it's better than an orgasm.
- Not that he's ever had one!
- I'VE HAD ORGASMS! I'VE HAD TONS OF ORGASMS! I'VE HAD ONE WITH YOUR MOM, DUDE ! "

" - Look, i didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
- You went to Vietnam in 1993...to open a sweatshop.
- And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop. "

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" The streets ain't made for everybody. That's why they make sidewalks. "

" And God, please do not withold your blessings, even from ho's that hire skanks to spy on me. In Jesus' name i pray. Amen. Hallelujah. "