c'est avec les pires navets qu'on fait les meilleures critiques
Critiques de films lues sur IMDB
33 films
créée il y a plus de 5 ans · modifiée il y a environ 2 moisKing of the Streets (1986)
Alien Warrior
1 h 40 min. Sortie : février 1986 (États-Unis). Science-fiction
Film de Ed Hunt
Annotation :
"Fais attention fiston, tu pourrais te geler l'arrière-train dans cette tenue!"
better than plan 9
madewithchicken21 April 2005
imagine if you took the Christ myth, mixed it with a healthy dose of porn, against a backdrop of bad sci-fi blackxploitation(brotha from another planet like) throw in a dash of after school special, and lots of really bad kung fu fighting. oh and some decent break dancing. with an awesome casio keyboard soundtrack.
and somehow they make this even worse than you could imagine. there are at least 4 rape scenes, at least one great car explosion, a buff black guy running around in his undies with an Uzi.
add alcohol and this is the perfect movie.
i mean lots and lots and lots of alcohol
10/10
An alien leaves his home planet wearing hospital, scrub-like pants. Arrives on earth minus the pants.
julio-com24 June 2006
First off, the alien saves a little black boy as well as a Mexican, despite what the IMDb plot summary suggests. This film is the fulfillment of the purest of male fantsies, interracial rape. The main character in this film is a George Michaelesque dope, who doesn't understand primal human urges like drug abuse and murder. In fact, every time he uses violence to solve a problem he has an internal conflict that physically hinders him. What a square. In any case, my favorite scene is when he writes the gang members a letter stating if they want the 500 bucks they get from the Reading Center for protection they must meet with him. At the meeting he is surrounded by countless Chicano gangsters, but he keeps a cool head. In slow motion, he punches the wooden post of a stop sign that shatters upon contact. Then, still in slow motion, points at the leader of the gang and says, "Noooooooooooooooooooo, mooooooooooooore!" The gang members comply. Cool, right? The beauty of this film shows through in these simple solutions to social problems like prostitution and gang violence.
The Living Wake (2007)
1 h 32 min. Sortie : 8 juin 2007 (États-Unis). Comédie
Film de Sol Tryon
Annotation :
1/10
This is the worst movie I've ever seen
jmkalvelage26 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
There are good movies and there are bad movies. There are movies that are so much worse than bad movies that they're entertaining to watch than something that's just plain bad. Then, there's "The Living Wake", which is so much worse than movies that are so bad that they're entertaining that it reaches an undiscovered depth of awfulness so unspeakably deplorable that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I didn't even want to give this movie one star. I wanted to give it negative stars to offset any stars it did receive, because I can only imagine people who ranked this highly assumed that the stars they gave to this movie were the number of ninja stars they wanted to throw at their screens while viewing this movie.
The movie centers around the flawed notion held by everyone involved in the creation and making of The Living Wake that weirdness and quirkiness are inseparably bound to genius. K. Roth Binew, diagnosed with some punctual terminal illness, uses his last day to search for, I don't know, meaning or whatever, while Jesse Eisenberg pedals him around in a rickshaw. There was nothing funny about this movie. I have never scowled so hard while watching a movie or doing anything. The urge to stop watching this movie was overwhelming as I spent the longest 90 minutes of my life wishing that dude would just die already. Then, after those 90 minutes of needlessly endless quirk, he did die, and it brought me no joy.
If you're thinking of watching this movie, I implore you to stare at a wall or a blank screen for 90 minutes. It'll be a much better use of your time. Whoever put money into this disaster should never be allowed to have money again. When I think of how many starving children could've been fed for the money that went into this movie, it would make me sad, but due to the complete artlessness of this movie and my iron-minded ability to watch it in its entirety, I'm wholly convinced that I have no feelings and that I know no such thing as empathy anymore. My balls are huge. A lesser, smarter man would've stopped watching this movie.
I could pick apart the acting or the writing or the "pee"-poor emulation of certain elements of Wes Anderson films, but why bother? Why bother doing anything? The movie was dedicated "in loving memory" to someone with the same last name of the director. I can only imagine this was a revenge plot. Maybe the director's brother slept
the creeper (1948)
1 h 04 min. Sortie : 1 septembre 1948 (États-Unis).
Film de Jean Yarbrough
Annotation :
https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3488167/?ref_=tt_urv
Cat's are uncanny creatures, what with their vertical pupils and all that sneaking around. It's no wonder they were thought to be witches' familiars.
This is one of those movies in which all the PhDs address each other as "doctor." But PhDs always put such formalities behind them. Nobody calls Tom Wolf Dr. Wolf, although he has a PhD in American Studies from Yale. Plain Rachel Maddow has a D.Phil. from Oxford. Plain Bill Cosby has a PhD from Temple. The man from Uncle has a PhD from USC.
And this is some laboratory these doctors work in. At night, the lab is dark except for a desk lamp that casts spooky shadows around and turns faces into Halloween masks.
As it turns out, I was wrong in pinning the murder on the jealous woman. It's unusual because I've only been wrong once before in my life. That was when I thought I was wrong but I'd been right all along. At any rate, I don't see how this could usefully be compared to Val Lewton's work. His movies were tiny near-masterpieces, while this one lacks any poetry at all.
Mad Foxes (1981)
Los violadores
1 h 20 min. Sortie : 19 avril 1982 (Espagne). Action, Thriller
Film de Paul Grau
Annotation :
https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2058437/?ref_=tt_urv
Whiskey. It makes you driven and determined.
27 April 2009
Phewy, some of the people writing these reviews have no clue what's up. Mad Foxes isn't just your regular flick you watch and judge. It's an exploitation classic with ridiculous ideas and situations. You should at least know that much going into it. But then I read that people had issues with how awful the dubbing was. Get the f@ck outta here! I can agree that it's not well-done in the sense it really overlaps well, or even sounds good. But these issues are moot when watching a flick like this. A flick with a double revenge story, karate guys fighting biker Nazis, lots of violence, sex and sleaze. I can understand that some people may have been expecting better dubbing, but the dubbing in this movie is although amateurish, it's incredibly funny and entertaining. It's similar to classic Popeye. Popeye (or any character) will ramble on about stuff when it seems unnecessary to do so. It's also the case here. There's silly dialogue thrown all over the place in here, and it's undeniably humorous. It's bad in the big scheme of professional dubbing, but if you've seen Premutos or any other poorly dubbed film that benefits from such crazy dubbing, this will only heighten your viewing experience.
BigBug (2022)
1 h 51 min. Sortie : 11 février 2022. Comédie, Science-fiction
Film de Jean-Pierre Jeunet
ChatonMarmot a mis 2/10 et a écrit une critique.
Annotation :
https://m.imdb.com/user/ur66576549/?ref_=m_tt_urv
1/10
What a bulls**t, weirdo movie
Worst movie in netflix, I watch it first 20 minutes and stopped it. Burned my tv and now going to kill myself.
Directing of photography is BAD Actors is BAD Scenario is BAD Dude whats wrong with you?
Actors is freaking weird, everything is freaking weird on this movie and its disguting.
Marihuana (1936)
57 min. Sortie : mai 1936 (France). Drame
Film de Dwain Esper
Annotation :
https://m.imdb.com/review/rw1784593/?ref_=tt_urv
jayraskin1 Review
22 December 2007
9/10
''You'll Soon Be Ice Queen of the Snow Peddlers, Blondie
Based on a true newspaper account, this movie is a riveting near- documentary which tells the truth about the drug menace that is destroying our country today. I advise all concerned citizens to watch it twice and show it to their friends and teen-age children.
A delightful film, the nude midnight bathing scene is worth the price of admission You really have to feel sorry for the lead character, Burma. Her friend dies drowning, her boyfriend gets shot, she gives up the baby she wants to keep (I'm not sure why), and when she kidnaps her sister's kid for ransom, it turns out to be her own child. Her life makes Britney Spears seem like Donna Reed.
It really appears that the filmmakers experimented with marihuana to get the experience down correctly. I would not be surprised if they were continuing their experiments throughout the film-making process.''
Le Lac des morts vivants (1981)
1 h 30 min. Sortie : 13 mai 1981 (France). Épouvante-Horreur, Érotique
Film de Jean Rollin
ChatonMarmot a mis 1/10.
Annotation :
https://m.imdb.com/review/rw3276697/?ref_=tt_urv
dianerpessler-46164 Review
14 July 2015
Zombie Lake (1981)
10/10
''Rollin's New Wave Study of Past and Present
Visionary French New Wave director Jean Rollin brought true artistic power to what is superficially a disturbing horror film. However, as the film progresses, it soon becomes evident there are significant themes being explored by Rollin under the guise of terror. Collaboration, retribution, and passion are sensitively observed in this film and it's certainly much more of an existentially realistic cinema journey than the simple title would lead one to believe. At times the intensity of the horror is so overwhelming it nearly becomes unendurable. However, Rollin never allows this to go so far that obscures what he is trying to say with his film. Ultimately, the motion picture works on two important levels. One is as a creative and ingenious horror film that pushes the very limits of the genre. The second is as one of the most significant cinematic statements regarding Post-WWII France and the way French society tried to reconcile the actions of citizens during the war with the present. It is that clash between past and present that explodes across the screen in what is the strongest expression of this great director's philosophy.''
Star Wars - Le Réveil de la Force (2015)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
2 h 16 min. Sortie : 16 décembre 2015. Action, Aventure, Science-fiction
Film de J.J. Abrams
ChatonMarmot a mis 1/10.
Annotation :
The Force Beyond (1977)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191143/reviews?ref_=tt_urv
"'Another inimitable 1970's exploration centering on man's woeful inability to fully accept his arbitrary, nonsensical existence
Weirdling_Wolf23 January 2014
Another inimitable 1970's exploration centering on man's woeful inability to fully accept his arbitrary, nonsensical existence, and the complete lack of any tangible evidence whatsoever of god / aliens / ghostie-bonks, or even watchable latter-day Ridley Scott movies. Along with the equally deranged Chariots of The Gods', 'The Force Beyond' is must-see TV, and proof positive, yet again, that the world is screwy enough without inventing a god or errant space gremloids! Grab a chilly sixer out of the fridge, decant said frosty ale into a decent pint glass, allow head to settle and rapidly discharge amber loveliness into the gaping wet hole in the lower quadrant of your head - REPEAT AS NEEDED. Of course, drinking along with potent medications whilst viewing this gonzoid film will greatly improve your entertainment experience!"
"Pure silliness!
BandSAboutMovies19 January 2019
Warning: Spoilers
He Weekly World News was launched in 1979 by The National Enquirer publisher Generoso Pope, Jr. as a means to keep using the black-and-white press that when that higher profile tabloid went to full color. Unlike any of the other rags you'd get at the supermarket, The Weekly World News was unafraid to wildly speculate on aliens, monsters and Elvis. It also introduced Batboy to the world and has been sadly lamented since it ceased publication in 2007 (although you can still read it online).
The Force Beyond is like watching an issue of that long lost tabloid without the smell of the pulp or getting black ink all over your fingers.
Producer Donn Davison did it all. He was a yo-yo master and a professional magician, while also a producer for Film Ventures International. He was a huckster who voiced the pitch to buy how-to sex manuals in roadshows and he ran the Dragon Art Theater in California, all before he did the voiceovers for The Crawling Thing and Creature Of Evil. Now, he's our host, presenting the words of his wife, Barbara Morris Davison, who also was behind the movie Honey Britches. Whew!
Guess who else brought this movie your way? William Sachs, who also directed The Incredible Melting Man. Strap in. This movie is a non-stop deluge of info, where things are just thrown at you with no set order or reason. Grown men trying t
Plutonium Baby (1987)
1 h 25 min. Sortie : avril 1987 (États-Unis).
Film de Ray Hirschman
Annotation :
polysicsarebest16 January 2005
10/10
Why isn't this classic on DVD?
Plutonium Baby... read those words over and over again. Read them very slowly, making sure to carefully pause after each syllable. Accentuate every breath as if you are getting ready to make the biggest announcement of your life. "PLU. TON. I. UM. BA. BY." Keep repeating these words to yourself, because you will want to know these words every time you go to your local mom-and-pop store to sniff this cherished cult item out. You need this movie. It's more vital than oxygen, food, water, sunshine, sleep, whatever. This film contains every aspect of a brilliant life-changing event. Wonderfully filmed. Pristinely edited. Masterfully created. Beautifully orchestrated. A Biblical production. The people who disagree are only jealous of the majestic beauty beneath the layers of tricky editing effects and disturbing topics.
This is a baby, folks. A plutonium baby. This film made me realize how being born into the world as a plutonium baby can be a danger in a society obsessed with looks. The plutonium baby, since the beginning of time, has been oppressed and demoralized and now MAYBE this problem in our society can be corrected by mass exposure to this amazing film.
This is truly a masterwork -- the director's best film by far. The story portrays how good and evil are equivalent. To simplify this: the bad guy (the guy in the suit) who was actually portrayed as the "good guy" was inevitably the complete evil and not the plutonium baby itself. This is a classic depiction of a few key elements that we can really learn lessons from: modern society is corrupt and to never judge so swiftly.
You really can't do better than this wonderfully-made social commentary, a production that can't even be put into words. Just perfection..
james_trevelyan30 November 2005
2/10
AWOL (Asleep With Open Lids)!
Jurassic City (2015)
Sortie : 2015 (France).
Film de Sean Cain
Annotation :
1/10
Excellent as you only need to watch 25 mins!
TAoUZOne4 March 2016
You have to give it one star if you don't have the strength to loose a chunk of your life torturing yourself for the full feature. However it generously delivers all it's low- expectations from the beginning enabling you to do something more useful like sort out your fridge or organise your toilet paper by different weights. The following is due to the fact that IMDb requires you to submit a minimum 10 lines, sorry in advance. 19 mins in there is some clichéd girl on girl action in a prison. The title sequence isn't bad, it matches the red of the tight short dress that the dark haired girl wears. There's a decent ironic analogy of Freud's structural model of the psyche captured through Altmanesque segues, actually there isn't I'm just fluffing out the 10 line minimum. Oh there are lingering shots of a woman's behind as she gets into a Jacuzzi. Sorry what was I reviewing again? It's already left my mind.
Le Pire Voisin au monde (2022)
A Man Called Otto
2 h 06 min. Sortie : 1 février 2023 (France). Comédie dramatique
Film de Marc Forster
Annotation :
Marwan SomadFebruary 28, 2023 at 6:11 pm
Otto is the stereotypical specimen of an uncultured western heathen. It’s quite easy for such weak men to just give up on living because they just lead aimless lives without any purpose whatsoever. Such shameful act would not even remotely occur to virile men of Islam because besides having plenty of salacious women of Islam to be our potential brides to replace the dead ones, there is always our ultimate goal of spreading Sharia all over the world.
Ça cogne et ça rigole chez les routiers (1974)
Truck Stop Women
1 h 28 min. Sortie : 14 mars 1979 (France). Action
Film de Mark L. Lester
Annotation :
https://www.imdb.com/review/rw7012441/?ref_=tt_urv
azathothpwiggins
"Truck Stop Women 'Bout To Blow My Mind!"...
9 June 2021
After the infamous bubble bath slaughter sequence, TRUCK STOP WOMEN begins.
Rose (Claudia Jennings) is just a fun-loving gal, working for her mom, Anna (Lieux Dressler) at her truck stop / brothel.
Uh oh!
Mob types are trying to muscle in for a piece of the action! They can't resist the allure of the truck stop industry. Also, it seems that Rose has joined forces with these gangsters!
Now, it's the sex-starved country folk vs. The malevolent mafia! Much naked frivolity ensues.
If topless lasses are your forte, then you've just pulled into heaven! If instead, you're looking for a deep film, full of philosophical discussions, then you should have looked more closely at the title!
Fans of Ms. Jennings rejoice! She appears, and the angels doth sing! Is it hot in here?
PLUS: The theme song and soundtrack music are toe tapping awesomeness! And, who among us would pass up a chance to see any movie with Dennis Fimple in it?
EXTRA POINTS FOR: Anyone who can count the number of times the mobster known as Smith says, "Fuggettaboutit!"...
The Last Border (1993)
The Last Border - viimeisellä rajalla
1 h 45 min. Sortie : 20 août 1993 (Finlande). Action, Aventure, Comédie
Film de Mika Kaurismäki
Annotation :
https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1100206/?ref_=tt_urv
4/10
Better than Mad Max for sure.
11 June 2005
'The last border' may not be good science fiction. It reminds me of Mad Max, although the plot is different for sure. Not everything is completely logical, but I must bring up a few points. The movie was filmed somewhere in northern Scandinavia, and obviously they didn't do much to change the way the vegetation looks like. To be a post-apocalypse world, it looks slightly too "normal". On the other hand, if there was no vegetation, there would be no people either. So I would say the landscape does indeed look as realistic as it can. I just wonder what the people eat, as most of the reindeer seem to be gone.
On the previous comment there was a question raised about clothing. The pretty dress seen in the movie is a traditional Lappish costume - the kind of dress you might very well find from those regions, even after an environmental disaster. So most of the things match, although obviously this movie was made when people still believed the oil is going to last forever. So eager are the biker boys to waste fuel driving around with no purpose.
Anyway, the movie itself is slightly boring. The idea of a solitaire man seeking for revenge has been used many times. I would say that Kaurismäki intentionally recycles some of the basic ideas of classic westerns. On the other hand, there are clearly characters and scenes that seem to be very similar to those in Mad Max. (Althogh I can't make a difference between the three.) It is not a bad idea. The only problem is, there is not enough to happen. Most of the characters just hang around pointlessly. Some of them do have potential, but nothing really comes out of it. Kari Väänänen at least is really enjoying himself, and Matti Pellonpää has a few funny lines.
What I really like about this movie is the image it gives of an ultimate macho culture. The biker boys look childish and ridiculous, like a bunch of school kids playing war on the backyard. They don't look tough but just stupid, just like real-life low-forehead -type of crooks.
It is a bad movie in a way, but on the other hand... I somehow like it more than average science fiction. Maybe it is just because the landscapes are familiar.
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
1 h 37 min. Sortie : 19 avril 2023 (France). Épouvante-Horreur, Fantastique
Film de Lee Cronin
ChatonMarmot a mis 2/10.
Annotation :
2/10
R.I.P Evil Dead
saint_brett12 May 2023
Warning: Spoilers
What have we got here? Another female empowerment movie that fits today's trend and caters to people like Jamie Lee Curtis and Kathleen Kennedy while excluding us fans who made these movies what they became. Where were Warner Brothers and New Line Cinema in 1981? Not too many big production companies wanted anything to do with that movie, just like the original Texas Chainsaw. The bigger companies get their hands on it years later, and the movies decline. "Evil Dead Rise" is no exception. It's as bad as the "Evil Dead" 2013 remake, with little to no substance.
So, we've left the woods of Wadesboro and Morristown for New Zealand, eh? How'd the Evil Dead migrate all the way down there? It's as mysterious as how Colonel Cochran got the piece of Stonehenge to sleepy Santa Mira without explanation.
The movie starts out with Rose Byrne sunbathing on the Oreti River, and what's this? A 2016 "Blair Witch" drone that's being controlled by an intoxicated Lautner character from "Twilight." Wow, the first words spoken in this movie involve the F word.
The prosthetic head at the 6 minute mark is prop stuff one would use on YouTube.
How could they cast Justin Bieber as a DJ in this?
Hmm, what am I watching here? An episode of "Bold and the Beautiful." An earthquake causes three good pizzas to go to waste as the aftereffects of the dropped pizza cause a ripple in the asphalt, and Bieber finds a warp zone to the bank of New Zealand, where he withdraws a couple of LPs and a library book that has teeth.
I'm picking up "American Horror Story" vibes about this with a touch of that nun character from "The Conjuring."
This dead by dawn homage is cheap and not doing it for me either.
Wow, Newt just got taken by the aliens again.
What was that end boss pieced together all about? It wasn't even memorable. If you want something scary, check out the end boss from the video game Super Metroid.
And why was there a woodchipper in an underground carpark, or how'd it fit under there when the entrance barely fit a small car?
You know what would be a good idea for an Evil Dead movie? Put a well-known cast together and throw some curveballs with actors like Sandra Bullock, Steve Martin, The Rock, and Hellen Mirren, and totally turn it on its head and kill them all off in brutal ways.
Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023)
1 h 47 min. Sortie : 12 mai 2023 (États-Unis). Comédie
Film de Bill Holderman
Annotation :
Ce qui ajoute à la saveur de la critique de ce film, c'est qu'elle a été écrite au sujet de Beau is afraid :
"I want my three hours back
niel-black16 May 2023
The highlight was the person kicking the back of my chair and the loud snores resonating from someone lucky enough to escape this rubbish.
This is easily the worst film of the year, which is saying something coming just a day after watching the drivel that is Book Club.- The Next Chapter (It has clearly been a bad film week). The four leads, in The Next Chapter, contain enough plastic to make at least two Lego movies, while Mary Steenburgen carries on her fine tradition of wooden acting that makes it surprising she has never been offered the title role in Pinocchio or as the trick gift the Greeks offer the Trojans."
The 11th Green (2020)
1 h 48 min. Drame, Science-fiction
Film de Christopher Münch
Annotation :
"Let me get this straight.... We've been in an alliance with aliens since the 50s and have been reverse engineering their technology since the late 40s .... but for some reason Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landings.... and the earth is flat anyway..."
Creating Rem Lezar (1989)
Creating Rem Lazar
48 min. Sortie : 1989 (États-Unis).
Film de Scott Zakarin
Annotation :
10/10
We are all Rem Lezar
Victor_Fallon17 June 2020
When I first heard Rem's beautiful singing, I immediately knew that the dreams (and future) of all of the world's children was in some hands.
I have memorized all of the words and sing Rem's songs loudly and consistently at my children while they eat their breakfast. I have done this every morning since 1989 and my children, who still live with me, smile and smile and smile and smile. It has significantly transformed our lives.
I recommend you succumb to Rem Lezar. We should all give in.
10/10
fantasy, my little ones!
pull_my_daisy7911 August 2006
I was never sure what to say when people asked me what my favorite movie was, I mean there were lots of films I liked, but I always felt incomplete , different from the others because i had missed out on some major cinematic experience or something , that is until I popped in the tape and was introduced to my new best friend, and hero, Rem.
The movie has it all, action, adventure, mullets, singing, dancing, a scary floating head, a creepy shack in the woods, unfit parents, sexual tension, and even a black guy.
I am proud that this movie is not only a part of my collection, but rarely leaves the VCR itself. Its a great movie to watch on your own or with your friends, but if you watch it a lot on your own you may not have that many friends anyways. Thank you Phil W, for bringing such a wonderful gift into my life no i never had a friend like you!
10/10
Rem Lazar has shown the true spirit of America
agillette2124 February 2014
Rem Lazar has shown ed me that is i live like a windjammer i can only dream of his bluebell mullet. WHen i am dreaming of a dream i dreaming of the rem Lazar dreams. I want 2 Wake up next to rem. This movie is as true classic of the American dreams. I may b from other foreign but i stile love the rems. Now apparently this review calls for more than 10 lines, this is not what rem died for... he did not sacrifice his mullet for this. The manic violinist in the park also adds a nice touch to the spirit of this movie, I would also like to point out the black guy, first we land on the moon, now we finally get black people in movies?! Wow take that racism. In conclusion i am done
9/10
Me personally, I loved this film.
acw-5993423 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Eat your heart out, Marvel, Rem Lezar is here! This is the best superhero film of all time. Safe for the kiddos AND entertaining for us adults. Catchy tunes, a journey to the
Nukie et Miko (1987)
Nukie
1 h 35 min. Sortie : 1 juillet 1987 (Afrique du Sud).
Film de Sias Odendaal et Michael Pakleppa
ChatonMarmot l'a mis en envie.
Annotation :
The Abomination of Desolation
CeruIean19 May 2012
I pride myself on being a connoisseur of bad movies. I have purposely watched hundreds upon hundreds of terrible movies with my friends, ranging from classics like Manos: The Hands of Fate to foreign 80's conan ripoffs to the contemporary Sci-Fi Channel and Asylum cheese fests. But not even those can prepare you for the abomination that is Nukie. It is, without doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen. By worst I do not mean least enjoyable; there are horrifically boring movies that are less enjoyable than Nukie. By worst I mean it causes more pain. To be honest, I can't put into words exactly what that is. There are movies that are more ridiculous. There are movies that have worse costumes. There are movies that have more annoying characters (though perhaps not many). There are even movies with stupider plots. But somehow, by some inexplicable alignment of terribleness, all these things have combined like an evil, mutated Captain Planet into Nukie, which has the power to punch your soul and beat it until you lose all faith in humanity and the universe.
Nukie is a movie about two alien light beams which inexplicably speak English and crash land on Earth because they are ungodly stupid. Upon landing on earth they transform into hideously disfigured E.T. knockoffs that are, for reasons unknown to anyone who has the slightest claim to humanity, expected to be seen as cute by the audience. One of them is named Nico and is captured by American scientists, who apparently operate out of a low-rent apartment building in Miami. The other is named Nukie, who lands in Africa and is so stupid he never considers just flying over to America even though he has no trouble flying anywhere else. Nukie and Nico spend the first fifteen minutes of the movie yelling each others names back and forth by bouncing their voices off of the moon. Yes, that makes just as much sense written down as it does in the movie. Nico is experimented on by scientists before being helped by a sentient computer who wants to turn scientists into clowns and have disco dance parties in his laboratory. Meanwhile, Nukie tries to convince the African natives to help him get to America by terrorizing them, breaking their things, crashing a helicopter, and causing two little boys to be cast out into the wild. For some reason, this doesn't make them want to help him, so Nukie is forced to wander through stock footage and before befriending a talking monkey w
Hyper Sapien : Les Visiteurs de l'espace (1986)
Hyper Sapien : People from Another Star
1 h 33 min. Sortie : 20 février 1987 (France). Science-fiction
Film de Peter R. Hunt
Annotation :
"Les choses ont bien changé. C'n'est plus comme dans notre jeunesse. Mouais. Mant'nant les gens sont différents. LE TEMPS est différent ! La Terre entière est différente.
Arrête d'effrayer les chèvres nom de dieu !"
Les Tueurs de l'éclipse (1981)
Bloody Birthday
1 h 25 min. Sortie : 26 mai 1982 (France). Épouvante-Horreur
Film de Ed Hunt
Annotation :
Kids do the darndest things!
Coventry21 October 2004
Night of the Little Sh!ts.
ElijahCSkuggs26 August 2008
The bad seeds!
Nightman8512 January 2009
Quite Possibly The Perfect Movie...
azathothpwiggins18 May 2020
In BLOODY BIRTHDAY, three psychopathic 10 year-olds decide to murder just about everyone in sight. Even the town sheriff is on their hit list!
Utterly preposterous, with a mean streak a mile long, there's still much mirth to be found here. This is mostly because of Timmy (K.C. Martel), the one kid they simply cannot seem to kill, no matter how hard they try! He's indestructible! This infuriates these terror tots to no end!
This could very well be the perfect 1980's movie! Especially, since none of the adult females are able to keep their clothes on for very long at all...
B&B - does not stand for Bed and Breakfast here
kosmasp19 August 2021
It does stand for Blood and Breasts though.
Killer kids with skids
Bezenby5 March 2014
The kids are alright....with murder
L'Homme des fusées secrètes (1960)
Wernher von Braun
1 h 46 min. Sortie : 19 août 1960 (Allemagne). Drame
Film de J. Lee Thompson
Annotation :
I aim for the stars, but . . .
tsmiljan21 July 2003
A passe hagiography of the life of Werner von Braun, a great rocket engineer with a questionable past. It's original title was "I Aim For the Stars." The best line I ever heard about this film was: "I aim for the stars, but sometimes I hit London."
Wernher Von Braun: A Space Fantasty
sprpick26 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
As Michael J. Neufeld's important new biography "Wernher Von Braun: Dreamer of Space, Engineer of War" demonstrates, Columbia Pictures "I Aim For The Stars" has only a passing relationship to reality.
Neufeld says that at first Von Braun was fascinated with the idea of a bio-pic when it was pitched to him by Columbia in the late '50s. He thought it would do a power of good for his ceaseless efforts to promote space travel to the American public. As production advanced, though, he realized the movie was going to draw unhealthy attention to his Nazi past and he was disenchanted by the hostile sub-text inserted by the screen-writers and director: that he was a well-meaning wimp who gave into Nazi evil.
He was no wimp, as the book shows, but he was far more involved with the Nazis than is shown in the movie.
Far from being the reluctant civilian member of the Nazis pressed into the Party late in the war, Von Braun, Neufeld says, was a sometimes uniformed member of the SS who was promoted and decorated several times.
The movie does correctly depict Von Braun being tossed into jail briefly for getting on the wrong side of Heinrich Himmler, but it probably wasn't as traumatic as this film suggests. Von Braun kept going on to bigger and better things in Germany right until the end of the war.
The movie doesn't touch at all on what was the most shameful part of Von Braun's life and career: his complicity in the atrocious treatment of slave labourers in the underground Dora rocket plant in Germany in 1944 and '45.
To this day, documentary film is frequently shown on TV of emaciated prisoners near dead but weeping in relief as they are liberated by Allied soldiers. A surprising amount of this footage was taken at Dora.
Von Braun generally disavowed any knowledge of prisoners being mistreated and executed in his rocket factories, but Neufeld suggests he actually knew quite a bit about it and felt guilty about it until the end if his life.
As Neufeld says, Von Braun loathed the movie (possibly out a guilty conscience) and tried to distance himself from it and forget the whole thing. Fortu
Technique d'un Meurtre (1966)
Tecnica di un omicidio
1 h 35 min. Sortie : 25 mars 1966 (Italie). Drame, Thriller
Film de Franco Prosperi
Annotation :
https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4092864/?ref_=tt_urv
Technique d'un meurtre (1966)
6/10
Take a knee
15 March 2018
Listen, daddy-o, I'm just gonna lay this one ya straight. This flick involves a cat who rubs out gangsters for the dough, but he's hip enough to twig that it aint no long term gig and figures on beating the gravel and splitting the scene, dig? He really knows his groceries.
His boss offers him fifty yards to polish some creep with a new face but the hitman don't think that's chilli. Once his brother takes a few bullets to the chest he noodles it out and reckons he'll take the bread. His boss however teams him up with some guy who might be everything plus (Franco Nero), but also might be looking to become a bit of a big wheel. They two of them cop a breeze and head to Europe to cast an eyeball on their victim.
Problem is, this square has had facial surgery so they don't know what he looks like! While our hitman is out quail hunting, two guys fall on Nero and give him a beating. Things get goopy when one thing leads to another and they rub out the wrong Murgatroid. Aint that a party pooper? Maybe they should haul ass back to the US and forget the whole thing?
Our hitman reckons someone's been singing to The Man and that there's a stoolie around, which gets him frosted. What he's facing might be tough tonails but he ain't gonna be the one left holding the bag. He's got x-ray eyes, man. He's with it. So out come the guns which is always a zonk on the head...
Turn up the stereo: This film razzed my berries. Nero plays a Mazda with peepers who speaks the lingo. The hitman guy is Madison Avenue who gets his kicks. It never does go ape like those seventies crime movie, but is never Dullsville either. There's plenty of hot iron action.
Now put an egg in your shoe and beat it
Ultime Violence (1977)
La Belva col Mitra
1 h 31 min. Sortie : 1977 (France). Policier, Drame, Thriller
Film de Sergio Grieco
Annotation :
https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2616268/?ref_=tt_urv
Le fauve à la mitraillette (1977)
1/10
Oh, boy...
24 May 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Poor me. I was so eager to see this movie. It's a "poliziottesco", it inspired Quentin Tarantino nonetheless, plus the big plus of having been shot in my hometown. And what a defeat, my friends. Yes, good camera angles. Yes, great score. Right. I won't repeat the profanities I said while watching, just believe me: the rest is plain, full, big, fat, outrageous rubbish all round. Ridiculous plot, no investigative work whatsoever, sloppy and very short car chases. The dialogues? Never mind, you'll barely hear them among the smacks and pows. They had only two sounds recorded: one smack and one pow. The same for all the movie along. Smack! Smack! Pow! Smack! Everybody goes berserk for no reason. "Good morning". Smack! Pow! You remain openmouthed. After the jailbreak Vanni Vitali visits his sister to take care of her. "You need money?" asks the supervillain, "Take these. They're fake. I've millions of them. All fake." Pause. "Listen, will you give me some real money, won't you?" In a scene the detective leaves the police HQ on a truck, no kidding, with a telescopic ladder mounted on, then he reaches the countryside, stops by a pole, climbs the ladder, connects a telephonic device to the wires and...makes a call to the HQ! Not enough? After the robbery the crooks run away taking some hostages with them. A dozen. The crooks leading in the car, the hostages following in a minivan. Driven by a hostage. OK, sorry, gotta stop now, I'm laughing by myself. Choking actually. I want to just say...laughing again. I'm sorry. I rest my case. Wow...
Criminally Insane (1975)
1 h 01 min. Sortie : 1975 (États-Unis). Épouvante-Horreur, Thriller
Film de Nick Millard
Annotation :
Even though its only an hour long, I could see someone with a short attention span having a particularly big problem with this. But anyone who's awesome will dig it whole-heartedly.
Demented Hilarity
thebeastlybaby14 October 2001
This movie is funny for all the wrong reasons - the horrible acting, the lamentable special effects, the bizarre music, and the $.57 budget. However, if you're in the mood for something a little, uh, offbeat and darkly comic, watch this. I have honestly never seen anything funnier than "Criminally Insane" and I would recommend it for anybody who likes the weird, cheap, and hysterical.
A Different Kind Of Exploitation Horror Movie
Steve_Nyland8 September 2006
See, Ethel isn't actually insane. She just wants to eat, sit around the house by herself and be left alone for some seconds on dessert. Maybe thirds. Hell she'll clean off the whole sponge cake, the can of icing, maybe some ice cream too on the side. If one thing, she's not shy about her craving for food, and how she lets it consume her. She doesn't eat the food so much as the food kind of uses her as a conduit. Ethel is merely a walking process by which it gets eaten. I will always refer to this movie by it's most famous re-title: FAT CRAZY ETHEL. Try it on a double bill with FAT GUY GOES NUTZOID and remember the cheeze dip. FAT CRAZY ETHEL was one of two startling horror features made by porno/exploitation veteran Nick Millard in an ill-fated attempt to go straight in the mid 1970s: Check out SATAN'S BLACK WEDDING for something a bit more conventional, though not much more. His work might not have grabbed hold of the imagination of mainstream viewers, but fans of ultra-low budget indie regional horror will find a fascinatingly claustrophobic and morbidly obese little horror thriller here. The film mostly takes place within the creepy, tacky interior of Ethel's aunt's house, where she has returned from a couple months of helpful shock therapy to wean her from her insatiable cravings for food. It didn't work but Ethel can live with it so long as the grocery bill is paid. This in a neighborhood where groceries are delivered right to your door: Bacon, chops, cereal, eggs, plenty of ice cream & raw cookie dough.
The fun in this movie is twofold: First, watching Ethel slowly and in an almost Hitchcockian manner find herself pretty much needing to murder people to keep the flow of fatty, caloric foodstuffs coming -- and to silence any harping voices in the peanut gallery urging
Jeanne Dielman, 23, Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975)
3 h 21 min. Sortie : 21 janvier 1976 (France). Drame
Film de Chantal Akerman
Annotation :
Someone has to provide the admittedly obvious complaints, so I'll do it
zetes26 December 2004
A film that is much more interesting to read about than actually watch. Akerman takes "realism" to a new level, basically setting up a camera and observing a very lifeless, dull person for 200 minutes. That woman, played by Delphine Seyrig, is a prostitute, catering to a client a day in her depressing apartment, as well as a single mother. We study her daily rituals as we occasionally glance down at our watches (or push the call button to see how much time is left). Okay, I get it. The problem is, I got it after the first 10 minutes. I got it, really, from reading descriptions of the film. After that, the remaining 190 minutes aren't especially worth sitting through. Notice that even after 190 minutes of breaking taboos of how not to put the audience to sleep, Akerman forces the (literally) climactic sequence. I think I understand what she was going for here, but it's not especially honest given the rest of the film. It shows that even she had to resort to a cheap narrative trick to end the film. All in all, the film is little more than a gimmick. Though I could have been doing better things with my time, I am glad I finally got to see this. I wasn't really bored out of my mind like Jeanne Dielman, I went through my own daily rituals while glancing up at the screen. Chantal Akerman did make some accurate observations about the human condition after all, even if they are fairly shallow in themselves.
3/10
Three Days of Quiet Desperation in What Feels Like Real Time
EUyeshima5 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Every ten years, Sight & Sound announces the list of the greatest films ever made, and this little-known 1975 film just usurped "Citizen Kane" and "Vertigo" in the #1 position. The Criterion Channel is showing it, so naturally I felt a desire to see this purported masterpiece. Directed by Belgian filmmaker Chantal Akerman, it runs a marathon 3 hours and 21 minutes and focuses on the mundane existence of a middle-aged single mother's daily routine over the course of three days. The wrinkle is that she is a prostitute in the afternoons while her teenaged son is at school. Delphine Seyrig plays the disaffected woman in a minimalist fashion until she starts to unravel in very subtle moments during the second half of the film. Yes, I watched the whole movie, and perhaps because I'm not an arthouse cineaste, I found it excruciating to watch the minutiae of this wom
Shopping (1994)
1 h 45 min. Sortie : 24 juin 1994 (Royaume-Uni). Policier, Drame
Film de Paul W. S. Anderson
Annotation :
4/10
I Say Old Boy It's The Brit Pack Innit Bruv For Real Tally Ho
Theo Robertson4 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This movie by Paul W Anderson hit a lot of controversy when it was released in 1994 with the usual right wing tabloids screaming that this film should be banned since it was encouraging a spate of ram raiding and joyriding . Certainly if you want to ban it on the grounds of quality control no one would miss it much , but as for encouraging anything it'd only encourage people not to go to the cinema to watch anymore films by Channel 4
The film starts with tough tearaway joyrider Billy played by Jude Law in his first starring role being released from his prison cell . Cut to Billy being led down a prison corridor by a couple of screws who put him in an interview room with veteran detective Conway played by Johnathan Pryce
" So Billy what has prison taught you ? "
A short pause and get that Oscar speech ready Mr Anderson
" Don't get caught " Anyone not expecting that far too obvious line ? I had hoped for a second Billy would have said something along the lines of " Since I look like Jude Law and I've been in a prison surrounded by tough lags I've learned my lesson Mr Conway . I now have a rectum like a windsock and can assure you I will cause no more trouble "
And that's the problem . The film is trying to sell a good looking , young British cast , the much hyped and quickly forgotten " Brit Pack " but seem absolutely unsuited to their characters as working class anti-heroes from the inner city . After being released from the big house Billy meets his Irish girlfriend Jo played by Sadie Frost . The strange thing is Ms Frost actually looks older here than she does in 2013 which gives the impression Billy has hooked up with some MILF
Anyway they decide to carjack a BMW car with a cunning plan of ramming it from behind then when the driver runs up to remonstrate with them they sneak in to the BMW and drive off in it . The problem is this is done on a urban stretch of road and there's no possible way they could have hid anywhere and the two cars are only a couple of yards apart . It's almost as if they can teleport . This sets up a car chase with the police as Billy and Jo taunt the police with " Oh gosh aren't we a couple of posh actors having a bit of a laugh playing a couple of naughty chavs what ? " That's a major failing of the film with only JonathanPryce's human portrayal of Conway and Sean Pertwee's stock villain Tommy being in any way co
Cyberflic (1997)
1 h 30 min. Sortie : 8 février 2001 (France). Comédie, Policier
Film de Antonio Margheriti (Anthony M. Dawson)
Annotation :
6/10
Loved this
BandSAboutMovies15 June 2024
Warning: Spoilers
I approached this movie with a strange and melancholic blend of joy and sadness. Joy because it's everything I love about movies: Italian maniacs let loose in Miami making a movie that at once combines Lethal Weapon, Ghost Dad and Tron while being shot on film in the very late for the Italian exploitation film industry year of 1997. Even better, it has the high concept of combining Terence Hill and "Marvelous" Marvin Hagler as buddy cops.
The cheerlessness comes from the fact that this is at the end. This is the last movie that Antonio Margheriti (Anthony M. Dawson in America) would direct, the last that Bruno Corbucci would write and really the event horizon of an era of films that I love with all my heart.
Yet in this bubble of time, you still get Margheriti combining actual car chases with the practical miniature effects that you hope for in his movies. The explosions are as big as they can be. And sure, maybe Terence Hill is thinking about better days alongside Bud Spencer. Perhaps Marvin Hagler is probably remembering when he fought world middleweight champ Alan Minter, who said, "No black man is going to take my title." Then he hit him so many times so quickly that he opened four gigantic wounds on the champ's face and Hagler won his first title as the fans in Wembley Arena launched beer bottles his way. How did he end up here in Miami trying to tell jokes and being in his fourth movie for these wacky Italians?* And was Margheriti dreaming of filming cobwebbed staircases being navigated by a candelabra-wielding Barbara Steele?
No matter. Here they are in Miami and a movie needs to be made.
Skims (Hill) is an ex-cop turned computer salesman who comes back to Miami to see his old cop friend Mike Davis (Hagler). But we know why he's in town. He's undercover, investigating a microchip stealing plot. He's also excited to reconnect with former cop - and the widow of his partner - Chelo (Giselle Blondet) and bond with her tech-loving daughter Lily (Jennifer Martinez).
Our hero finally tracks down the villain behind all of the drama in this, a man named Abel Van Axel (Stephen Edward, who showed up in three episodes of Miami Vice), who goes by the even cooler - if unnecessary - name of Mr. X. What is he, the final boss of a Konami beat 'em up?
Despite being informed that Skims is the greatest cop of all time, he gets blown up real good and dies. We even see his funeral. I'm shocked they didn
America 3000 (1986)
1 h 24 min. Sortie : 1 avril 1986 (États-Unis). Action, Science-fiction
Film de David Engelbach
Annotation :
"In The Future Women have Big Sexy Feminine Hair"
" Feisty Amazonian babes rule the planet in the 31st century, keeping some men as slaves and others as "seeders", or sperm donors."
"one scene features a sign which reads "The Rolling Stones Farewell tour 1989.""
"Be warned, however, that the movie DOES feature a shaggy mutant called "Aargh The Awful"! (**)"
Cyborg 2 (1993)
Cyborg 2 : Glass Shadow
1 h 39 min. Sortie : 24 novembre 1993 (États-Unis). Action, Science-fiction
Film DTV (direct-to-video) de Michael Schroeder
Annotation :
10/10
3.1 with Angelina Jolie sex scenes? Are you CRAZY!?
awood-2417 February 2007
I'd like to point out these excellent points in favor of this movie:
#1 Angelina Jolie sex scene
#2 Foley artist outdid themselves
#3 plot was quite thick
#4 DVD does includes trailers and chapter stops
#5 no animals were harmed in the making of the movie
#6 homages to blade runner through out the film
#7 burning trash cans
#8 funny guy with no legs
#9 Voice overs by Jack Palance added a real dynamic element to the film.
#10 Sage advise, for example "When you dine with the devil bring a long spoon".
#11 Angelina Jolie was only 18!
To sum it up: an evening of entertainment was provided.
67 out of 82 found this helpful.
Speed 2 - Cap sur le danger (1997)
Speed 2: Cruise Control
2 h 10 min. Sortie : 23 juillet 1997 (France). Action
Film de Jan de Bont
ChatonMarmot a mis 5/10.
Annotation :
Crédits fous
No oceans were polluted during the filming of this movie.
2/10
Cruise: (of a motor vehicle or aircraft) to travel smoothly at a moderate or economical speed.
BA_Harrison27 July 2019
6/10
Campy fun
prekv20 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I think that Speed 2 is honestly campy fun at its finest. The movie is filled to the brim with over-the-top action sequences, outrageous stunts, and plenty of tongue-in-cheek humor. It also features some impressive visuals, especially the scenes involving the cruise ship. The plot of Speed 2 is certainly ludicrous, but I feel that is part of the fun. The dialogue is often cheesy and the action scenes are often goofy, but it's all part of the film's charm. Speed 2 is a perfect example of a "guilty pleasure" movie. It's not necessarily a great movie, but it's certainly a fun one and I think a lot people would enjoy it if that just have it a shot.