S1 E1 • Plan 9 From Outer Space (Mike Nelson Solo)

Held up by many as the Worst Movie Ever Made (though the twelve people who saw Mariah Carey's 'Glitter' may strenuously disagree) Ed Wood's classic has endured so long because of the fine performances of Vampira, Dudley Manlove, and of course, Tor Johnson, the Swedish wrestler and hulking tower of flesh who turns in his best work as Inspector Dan Clay, a hulking tower of flesh. Original film made in 1959.

Première diffusion : 1 janvier 2006

S1 E2 • Night of the Living Dead (Mike Nelson solo)

A true cult classic -- and one of the scariest movies of all time. The dead are walking, and they hunger for human flesh. A group of panicked survivors are barricaded in a deserted farmhouse while the army of flesh-eating zombies hovers outside their door. Now experience the bone-chilling terror in color for the first time on DVD! With a 5.1 surround sound remix, and a hilarious commentary track by Michael J. Nelson, this is the most fun you'll ever have with the living dead! Original film made in 1968.

Première diffusion : 18 janvier 2006

S1 E3 • Road House

This is it – the best movie ever made about a world-famous bouncer and his epic struggle with the evil owner of the local J.C. Penney. Patrick Swayze is at his most shirtless as Dalton, a bouncer who is as comfortable quoting Zen aphorisms as he is kicking drunken men in the head. The incomparable Sam Elliot is hilarious as Swayze's grizzled but lovable mentor, growling out lines like "I'll sleep when I'm dead," and running his weathered hand through his long, gray, greasy hair. And Kevin Tighe (of Lost) as the owner of the titular roadhouse delivers one of the strangest performances ever committed to film. Road House is the comic mother lode and Mike takes advantage of every smashed beer bottle, throat kick, and monster car smash-up in his hilarious running commentary. Original film made in 1989.

Première diffusion : 21 juillet 2006

S1 E4 • The Fifth Element

Long before the exceedingly boxy, strange-looking car, there was another Element: The Fifth Element, a clown-headed young woman in orange rubber lederhosen who held the key to saving earth from a big ball of evil…stuff. Bruce Willis is a hack (as in "cab driver") who must protect her from the malevolent Zorg (Gary Oldman sporting an acrylic yarmulke, novelty teeth and an accent that makes him sound like a cross between Foghorn Leghorn and Barney Fife). The yummy Ukrainian Milla Jovovich stars as Leeloo, the titular element. Yes, earth's very existence is in the hands of someone named Leeloo.

Première diffusion : 6 août 2006

S1 E5 • Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

The bittersweet sequel to Star Treks I, II, III and IV was indeed the "Final Frontier", one last voyage for our heroic Captain Kirk and the brave crew of the Enterprise – except for another one to follow. And then of course the several dozen spin-offs and spin-off sequels to follow. "The Final Frontier" sees a special guest appearance by the one character fit to take equal billing with William Shatner: God. And so this RiffTrax deserves an awe-inspiring guest appearance by none other than Kevin Murphy, Mike's riffing companion for years on the Satellite of Love! It's a RiffTrax lover's dream come true. (And Mike and Kevin promise not to make any jokes comparing the Enterprise and Charmin toilet paper.)

Première diffusion : 18 août 2006

S1 E6 • Cocktail

A drunken Australian councils a young Tom Cruise on life, love, and female undergarments. Tom and Nicole's wedding night? No, this is the thrilling plot of Cocktail, starring Cruise, Bryan Brown, Kelly "Road House" Lynch and Gina "Showgirls" Gershon. When young Brian Flanagan (Cruise) is discharged from the Army and quickly discovers that he has few job prospects, scant talent, and no discernible intelligence, he exercises his only real option and gets a job at a TGI Fridays, whipping around bottles of Blue Curacao and serving deep-fried broccoli balls to people wearing suspenders. When Coughlin betrays his partner, Brian flees to Jamaica, puts on a cheap, Qiana jungle print shirt and resumes his half-baked act there, soon bedding down the improbably named Jordan Mooney (Shue). Coughlin follows him to Jamaica. Can they rekindle their friendship? Will they reform their circus/bartender act? Will they get a job together tossing chicken strips around at a Carl's Jr.?

Première diffusion : 29 août 2006

S1 E7 • xXx

Vin Diesel, the Jean-Claude Van Damme of our time, stars as Xander Cage, an underground extreme sports star who apparently lost all his hair in a tragic skydiving accident. The NSA shanghais Xander to help them bust up a dangerous group of anarchists – and what an amazingly well-organized and thorough group of anarchists they are – by using his skills at pulling the most extremely off da heezy-fo-sheezy stunts ever, bi-atch. Samuel L. Jackson co-stars as Xander's cantankerous boss, made cantankerous, we can assume, by the fact that one side of his face is melted (the result, no doubt, of a mishap while he and his nutty friends were filming a Diet Coke and Mentos stunt for YouTube.) The film is a perfect fit for Mike's RiffTrax style, what with his deep, deep roots in the underground sports community (once, when he was nine years old, he rode his bike right over a milk carton.)

Première diffusion : 6 septembre 2006

S1 E8 • Crossroads

Among the finest Britney Spears movies ever made, Crossroads* tells the story of a high school graduate who drives to L.A. Not very exciting on paper, but up on the big screen, it's a drive-to-L.A.-stravaganza! Fueled by today's exciting pop hits, Crossroads is sure to connect with the new "youth" market we've been hearing so much about lately. Featuring knock-out performances by Dan Aykroyd (My Girl 2) and Kim Cattrall (Turk 182!) and featuring the chart busting hits of newcomers Mystikal and *Nsync (prounounced NUHS-ink), Crossroads is Federline-free fun for the whole family. Oh, and it makes for a hilarious RiffTrax. *Not the Crossroads where the Karate Kid (Ralph Macchio) challenges Satan (The Author of All Lies) to a blues guitar contest.

Première diffusion : 15 septembre 2006

S1 E9 • X-Men

On the shadowy periphery of society lives a secret organization of mutants – despised, deformed and loathed, they live in fear of a nation that holds them in contempt. They are comic book fans. And one of their favorites is X-Men, which tells the tale of a secret organization headed by Professor Charles Xavier, master of the mysterious brain device known as Cerebro and ideological enemy of the metal-manipulating villain Magneto. It's all very neat-o. Featuring the extremely British performances of Patrick Stewart (Robin Hood: Men in Tights) and Sir Ian McKellan (Last Action Hero), X-Men tries its altogether best to maintain some shred of dignity even while adults with names like Cyclops and Storm leap around in spandex suits fighting other adults named Toad and Magneto. There's a lot to work with, so Mike enlisted the help of his MST3K co-star Bill Corbett for this hilarious RiffTrax!

Première diffusion : 22 septembre 2006

S1 E10 • Top Gun

Iceman, Maverick and Slider: while they make great names for members of a tracksuit wearing boy band, they make even better names for shirtless, pretty boy pilots! And Tom Cruise is the prettiest and shirtless-liest of them all as Maverick, a bad boy aviator who lock horns with the large-toothed Iceman (Val "The Island of Dr. Moreau" Kilmer) and locks other things with the saucy MIT-educated Naval consultant Charlie (Kelly "Supergator" McGillis). And if you're a fan of music that is likely to be heard in an aerobics class, you'll love the pulse-pounding soundtrack by disco top gun Giorgio Moroder! For this RiffTrax, Mike flies high with his Mystery Science wingman, Bill Corbett. It will literally "take your breath away"! No breath will actually be taken away. When we say "literally" we don't literally mean it. Original film made in 1986.

Première diffusion : 29 septembre 2006

S1 E11 • Point Break

Not since Chicken Fried Steak met Country Gravy has there been such a dynamic pairing as Patrick "Forever Lulu" Swayze and Keanu "Permanent Record" Reeves. The "whoa"s fly fast and furious as Johnny Utah (Reeves), a hotshot FBI agent, pursues Bodhi (Swayze), a tan little fellow with Bon Jovi's hair who dresses up in adorable little costumes and robs banks. Gary Busey (the other Nick Nolte) gives a powerhouse performance as Utah's partner, and Lori "Free Willy" Petty, in one of her thinnest roles, is the girl Johnny likes to sleep with. Point Break is 100% pure adrenaline and Mike's "Point Break" RiffTrax is 100% pure nitrous oxide!

Première diffusion : 10 octobre 2006

S1 E12 • Halloween

The most shocking Halloween-related thing ever -- with the possible exception of the joke about Mrs. Ghost not being able to get pregnant because Mr. Ghost had a hollow weenie. But in a respectable 2nd place, anyway, is Halloween, the horrifying tale of an evil madman named Mike Myers (as if his Simon character wasn't chilling enough) who terrorizes a babysitter by putting on a jumpsuit and hiding in the hedge. (A technique now widely used by custodians the world over.) Featuring the blood curdling theme song by director John Carpenter in which he hits a G on a piano key 900 times, then a C about 738 times and then hammers on the G for a time before hitting a G# and then starting the process over again and repeating it several hundred thousand times. Because he was too chicken to sit in the dark and watch it by himself, Mike enlisted the help of his old pal Kevin Murphy for this hilarious RiffTrax. You'll scream, you'll laugh, you'll jump out of your seat! (And then you should probably start watching the movie).

Première diffusion : 19 octobre 2006

S1 E13 • The Matrix

In Earth's dirty, dystopian future, one in which every person alive is kept in a dark, moist pod and fed misinformation (kind of like Manhattan, only the odors are less pungent), only one man can save us – and that man is Johnny Utah. Wait, no – Johnny Mnemonic. Hold on, that's not it. It's some kind of car name…uh, Horizon, um….Omni. Ram Charger – No, Neo. That's it. Neo. Led by the enterprising Morpheus, and the hot-erprising Trinity, Neo learns his fate from the Oracle, a corpulent, crusty, chain-smoking broad who is likely to put you off Oracles forever. What is the Matrix? It's a laugh-a-minute RiffTrax with Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy, that's what.

Première diffusion : 25 octobre 2006

S1 E14 • Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Of all the many Binks in the world, who is the most skull-crushingly annoying? Is it the Binks Company, the Canadian insurance brokers? Is it the U.S. manufacturers of spray guns, paint booths, and electrostatic spray equipment? Or is Jar Jar, the mouthy horse-lizard from the 4th Star Wars movie, appropriately titled Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace? If you said anything but number three, you are imprisonably insane! That's right, Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy take on the franchise-ruining Star Wars that everybody loves to hate but nobody loves to watch! Only we make you want to watch it again, and laugh instead of kill! Finally, Jar Jar gets what he deserves! Original film made in 1999.

Première diffusion : 1 novembre 2006

S1 E15 • The Grudge

The scariest thing to come out of Japan since Pink Lady, The Grudge tells the story of a young woman who travels to Japan with her underwear-sniffing boyfriend and soon finds herself in the clutches of an evil curse (as if having an underwear-sniffing boyfriend wasn't bad enough). Bill Pullman co-stars, sort of, in that he speaks several lines of dialogue. In contrast to a high body count slasher film, The Grudge is infused with a suffocating sense of dread, very much like an average episode of According to Jim. Kevin Murphy and Mike Nelson settle their own grudge in this not-to-be-missed RiffTrax.

Première diffusion : 10 novembre 2006

S1 E16 • The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

The greatest fantasy epic of all times is at last a RiffTrax! No, not Crossroads – we already did that. And not A Very Unlucky Leprechaun – which we haven't done yet but are seriously mulling over. We speak of course of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, the thrilling tale of some short guys, some slightly taller hairy guys, some thin, fey, but slightly taller guys, some grungy, somewhat beefier, slightly taller guys, and a frighteningly hairy, older, slightly taller guy with a stick, and their quest to throw something somewhere hot. Mike Nelson and special guest riffer Kevin Murphy go after the ultimate comedy prize in this very special two-part RiffTrax. This RiffTrax is only compatible with the Theatrical Release, not the extended edition. It does however, work for both the single side and doubled sided versions of the Theatrical Release. Viewing Suggestion: This RiffTrax was written and performed with the whole family in mind, so if you are comfortable with your children watching Lord of the Rings, this should be perfectly appropriate for them as well. Skip the endless reruns of The War at Home and treat your whole family to the RiffTrax experience!

Première diffusion : 21 novembre 2006

S1 E17 • The Island of Dr. Moreau

And the people cried out with one voice, "Maketh us a movie in which Marlon Brando can don a muumuu, false teeth, clown white make-up and a really gay bonnet. See that it also stareth Val Kilmer at his scenery-chewing best. And, yea, putteth the extras in hot, smelly animal suits and maketh you the plot absurd." And, lo, did John Frankenheimer deliver unto us The Island of Dr. Moreau. And it was good. Truly, you must see it to believe it. But you must only see it accompanied by this RiffTrax, for which Mike enlisted the talents of Kevin Murphy, or else you WILL die. Original film made in 1996.

Première diffusion : 1 décembre 2006

S1 E18 • Firewall

The thrilling world of banking explodes across the silver screen! Harrison Ford is a bank security manager who gets more than he bargained for when a cold-blooded thief (Paul Bettany) breaks the little chain and steals the pen that belongs to the desk where most customers fill out their deposit slips! And as if that weren't enough, he ups the ante, nearly emptying the entire pot of complimentary coffee into his giant, one-liter travel mug that he got from the Tom Thumb! His reign of terror continues as he gets in line for the teller and begins to fill out his deposit slip only after he gets to the counter! Oh, there are gunfights and fisticuffs and intrigue and Virginia Madsen playing put-upon wives and whatnot, but mostly, this is thrilling, non-stop, ink-spilling banking at its best! The bottom line on this ledger shows an aggregate surplus of laughs, as Mike is joined by Kevin Murphy for one fiscally sound RiffTrax!

Première diffusion : 8 décembre 2006

S1 E19 • Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

You know Dasher, of course. And Dancer, no need to refresh your memory there. Prancer, you go way back. Vixen is as familiar to you as Comet, not to mention dear old Cupid. Donner and Blitzen, why you had them over to your house for chili just the other night. But do you recall the most famous donkey of all? Neither do I. That's why Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey performs such a great service. It offers THE authoritative biography of this under-appreciated representative of the species Equus asinus. And it makes a great RiffTrax! Note: Though this RiffTrax could probably technically pass with a "G" rating, it is not recommended for very young children. We suggest screening it first if you are unsure.

Première diffusion : 19 décembre 2006

S1 E20 • Reign of Fire

A post-apocalyptic thriller that substitutes dirt and grime for any inkling of logic and probability, Reign of Fire features shirtless one-upmanship at its finest. The cigar stub chomping Matthew McConaughey is finally chiseled into Mt. RiffTrax, making a gutsy bid to become the hardest working shirtless man in show business since The Swayze himself. Playing the Keanu-esque foil to McConaughey's Swayze, Christian Bale returns every hardened stare, lets no machismo go unanswered, no muscle flex go un-flexed back at, and he'll be damned if he puts a shirt on either. For good measure, the writers also toss in a few dragons, and hint at the existence of thousands more. It's an old fashioned post-apocalyptic dude-off, both on the screen and in the recording booth, as Kevin Murphy joins Mike Nelson for what is sure to be your newest favorite RiffTrax involving dragons.

Première diffusion : 21 décembre 2006

S1 E21 • Daredevil

Several years ago, it is quite likely that you were one of the millions who bought a ticket to see X-Men or Spider-Man in the theater. The massive success of these two movies convinced studio execs that the public was desperate for any and all things Superhero. In short, it is because of you, yes you, that the film Daredevil darkens our world. Daredevil tells the story of lawyer Matt Murdock (Ben Affleck), who due to a childhood accident involving toxic chemicals has no fear. He is thus able to leap off of skyscrapers and land on the ground without shattering his tibias. Along the way he encounters Elektra (Jennifer Garner), who he fights on a teeter-totter, Bullseye (Colin Farrell), who embraces every stereotype about the Irish, (namely that they have really good aim) and Michael Clarke Duncan, who plays against character for once, in his groundbreaking role as A Really Big Guy. Only a fool would choose to leap headfirst into such a world of second tier heroes on his own, and Mike, despite voluntarily spending hours of his time watching Daredevil, is no fool. So his good friends Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy, (who are both also Men Without Fear) are all along for the ride. It's a trio of crime fighting Riffiness that no Riffaholic should Riff without.

Première diffusion : 18 janvier 2007

S1 E22 • Battlefield Earth

In the year 3000 man is an endangered species, enslaved, severely unshowered, beholden to a cruel alien race fond of dreadlocks and really impractical boots.Only one man can break the yoke of slavery and lead mankind to victory over their cruel tyranny. And that one man is television character actor Peter MacNicol. Wait – slight error there. Salt of the earth, Peter MacNicol, but it's not him. Actually, the one man who can break the yoke of slavery and lead mankind to victory is Johnny Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper), if you can believe that. Yes, Battlefield Earth, L. Ron Hubbard's epic tale of why you should become a Scientologist splashes* across the big screen in John Travolta's masterful** retelling. Helping Mr. Travolta along in his masterful retelling are Mike, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett. Yes, the MST3K gang is back together in full force to take on the most legendary cinematic blunder since whatever Joel Schumacher's last film was. *like vomit. **here "masterful" is used in the sense of "revoltingly, irredeemably noxious" Original film made in 2000.

Première diffusion : 28 janvier 2007

S1 E23 • Troll 2

"Be afraid...be twice as afraid!" So goes the tagline for Troll 2, the follow up, unsurprisingly, to Troll. A more fitting tagline might have been, "What the hell was that? Seriously, what was that? Was the director spraying Pam cooking spray into a paper bag and huffing the fumes throughout the production? Was the script assembled by a madman using words clipped from Lyndon LaRouche pamphlets? Did the actors regularly ingest a cocktail of lithium and horse tranquilizers before each scene? And Eliot – someone please explain Eliot to me, using visual aids, if you will, because I cannot even begin to grasp the barest outlines of a concept of just what the hell Eliot is or was? Or does he just exist in some shadowy, nightmare dream world of my own creation? WHO IS ELIOT? WHY IS ELIOT?! WHERE AM I?!" Yeah, that should have been the tagline, but it's a touch long. As it is, Rich Kyanka, the founder and proprietor of Somethingawful.com (and a huge "fan" of Troll 2) joins Mike for a hilarious RiffTrax. Original film made in 1990.

Première diffusion : 2 février 2007

S1 E24 • Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

"To boldly go where no man has gone before," and if you don't count the 79 television shows and 5 movies that came before it then Star Trek VI does exactly that. Yes, it's bold enough to have lauded stage actor Christopher Plummer glue on a few hideous plastic appliqués and shriek out lines from Shakespeare's plays at inappropriate times. It's bold enough to hire Kim Cattrall for her acting experience alone in a role that has nothing whatsoever to do with sex. And it's bold enough to pretend with a straight face that the cast of the original series shouldn't have been dry docked 20 years prior to this film. To handle this mess, Mike enlisted the aid of Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy, his riffing companions from Mystery Science Theater 3000. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say to yourself, Who is John Shuck and how can I avoid his work from now on?

Première diffusion : 9 février 2007

S1 E25 • Over the Top

Never make the mistake of thinking that Over the Top is just an arm-wrestling picture. Oh, there's arm wrestling, all right – more arm wrestling than an 8th grade study hall. But there's also a truck. And a kid. And a whole lot of arm wrestling! And just wait till you hear the shocking secret behind Sylvester Stallone's signature "turning the hat backward" move. (Hint: it has something to do with arm wrestling!) And there's arm wrestling! And if you're really good, maybe there'll be a Kenny Loggins song at key points in the movie. (And arm wrestling) Mike won't come out and say it, but by the glint in his eye, we suspect that this just may be the next Road House! Disembaudio co-stars in this arm-wrestlo-rama of a RiffTrax.

Première diffusion : 16 février 2007

S1 E26 • Aeon Flux

"Seeing it...made me feel helpless, humiliated and sad." A celebrity apologizing for their latest paparazzi shots? No, those are the words of Aeon Flux creator Peter Chung regarding the big screen adaptation of the TV show he created. Peter, Peter, Peter...Why the long face? You have it so good! You want helpless? Watch yet another director hamfistedly attempt to cope with a studio's order to "Be more like The Matrix." You want humiliated? Try Best Actress Oscar winners Charlize Theron and Frances McDormand, who must have done some hard drinking together the night before they signed up to play members of a spy sect called the "Monicans" for some reason. Want sad? Look at the latest devoted sect of fanboys whose beloved cult cartoon is now known by the general population as being "That movie with that guy from xXx." Peter my friend, when a bomb as fast and as loud and as incomprehensible as Aeon Flux comes along, it's your job to just quietly cash the checks, and then turn the reigns over to Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy, and let the two of them do their thing. The hilarity, much like the Relical, (whatever that is), is omnipresent in this RiffTrax, and it is guaranteed to make you feel the opposite of helpless, humiliated and sad, (whatever that may be as well.)

Première diffusion : 23 février 2007

S1 E27 • The Wicker Man

Horror has a new name – and that name is "wicker". Once used almost exclusively in the construction of baskets and attractive outdoor furniture, wicker will now and forever after be synonymous with a terror that will chill your blood and torment your mind! (Though admittedly a certain small percentage of people, rather than associating it with terror, will continue to think of their grandma's patio set. There's nothing you can do about these intractable folks but throw your hands in the air and just give up trying to change their minds where wicker is concerned.) Yes, "Wicker Man" dares to depict a nightmarish world in which Nicolas Cage punches a woman in the face so that he can steal her bear costume. And this after having stolen at gunpoint a bike belonging to a woman dressed as a magpie and then going on to knock out Leelee Sobieski by kicking her in the breadbasket. If this doesn't sound scary, may I remind you that there's WICKER! Neil LaBute has done the impossible by making the most unintentionally funny movie since "The Lake House". With such rich fare it would be unthinkable not to let Kevin Murphy in on the fun. And so we did! Kevin and Mike couldn't have had a better time with "The Wicker Man" if he'd been made of rattan! Original film made in 2006.

Première diffusion : 2 mars 2007

S1 E28 • Terminator 3

Robots sent from the future into the past to kill people who will one day become important to the war against machines are like cockroaches – no matter how many of ‘em you kill, there’s always another, showing up one day naked in a little glowing ball of energy (the robots from the future, not cockroaches. Well, to be clear, the cockroaches show up naked as well, but without the little glowing ball of energy.) The point is, humanity’s loss is our gain, as Terminator 3 offers another chance for Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger to show off his prodigious acting chops [i.e., his pecs]. Kristanna Loken co-stars as the ruthless Termanatrix, a superior model of robot with, I think you’ll agree, a superior bare backside, altogether less hairy, not nearly as Austrian, with smooth, clean lines and a… anyway, back to the synopsis. Arnold must protect John Connor (Nick Stahl) not only from the Terminatrix, but also, because the kid is a supremely annoying presence, from all those who want to slap him, and that encompasses everyone who has ever met him. Things get complicated when a whiny young irritant named Kate (Claire Danes) locks John into an unhygienic dog kennel and refuses to even worm him. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is a big, dumb movie filled with big, dumb people. Kevin Murphy and Mike Nelson are two big, dumb guys who are just dumb enough to take it on!

Première diffusion : 16 mars 2007

S1 E29 • Lost: Pilot (1)

The television phenomenon of our time (no, not “According to Jim”) is now the RiffTrax phenomenon of this week! Yes, “Lost”, the thrilling saga of a group of castaways – of varying degrees of hotness – and their struggle to survive without having to resort to wholesale drinking of their own urine. “Lost” conveys the wit, intrigue and fierce intelligence of “Gilligan’s Island” in a modern setting – and without the mind-shattering annoyance of Bob Denver! If you like your “Lost” with a little something on the side, you’ll love Kevin and Mike’s take on the pilot episode.

Première diffusion : 30 mars 2007

S1 E29 • Lost: Pilot (2)

This is the second part of the "Lost Season One Pilot" episode and should not be numbered separately from the first part.

Première diffusion : 30 mars 2007

S1 E30 • Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

It’s Binks-ian fun for the whole family as George Lucas empties the contents of his brain onto film one more time! This go around, the part of the annoying kid is explored more deeply by a new annoying kid, Hayden Christensen, in a performance so jaw-droppingly wooden and laughable it’s got to make Keanu Reeves feel pretty darned good about himself. Ewan McGregor returns as that one guy who was once played by that other British guy, and he’s apparently become comfortable enough with his green screen acting that he no longer even pretends it matters whether he puts in effort or not. And returning for the role of Padme Amidala is Natalie Portman, looking cute but losing her bid to keep her voice from grinding into her audience’s skull like a buzz saw. All of this would be a RiffTrax dream come true – but making it even dream come true-ier is that Mike and Kevin are joined by none other than Chad Vader, brother of Darth and star of his own colossally successful internet series. It is quite simply a RiffTacular RiffStravaganza!

Première diffusion : 6 avril 2007

S1 E31 • Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Your favorite chicken-slaughtering candy-maker is now a RiffTrax! Yes, Willy Wonka (the older, shouting Willy Wonka, not the newer, thin, fey version), the chocolatier and inventor of a gobstopper that lasts a good deal longer than the older, short-lived gobstoppers, gets the treatment from Mike and special guest Riffer…(wait for it… drum roll… fanfare… small burst of fireworks…) Neil Patrick Harris! That's right, Neil Patrick Harris, not Ed Harris, the guy with the scar on his face from "A History of Violence", but rather NEIL PATRICK HARRIS! Yes, we somehow finagled the star of "How I Met Your Mother" into the RiffTrax studios to sit with one of his favorite Oompa Loompa-packed films. The result is a very special, very hilarious RiffTrax.

Première diffusion : 13 avril 2007

S1 E32 • Casino Royale

A spine-tingling thrill ride that moves from the exotic poker tables of Montenegro, to the exotic hotel rooms of Montenegro, then back to the poker tables, then the rooms again, then a return visit to the poker table for a more extended stay, then a short rest and back to the poker table! And there's killing, too! And lot's of sweet lovin', if you're into that. Daniel Craig inhabits the role of James Bond, the dashing MI6 agent who holds a license to kill, as well a license to wax his chest and wear tiny, undignified swimming trunks. Eva Green is Vesper Lynd, (get it?) the hot-to-trot financier who administers the majority of Bond's lovin', with luscious Caterina Murino batting clean-up. And Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen stars as Le Chiffre, a sardine-faced villain and numbers genius (he can make change for a dollar without punching it into the cash register!) Joining Mike is Kevin Murphy. Both Mike and Kevin have a license to Riff.

Première diffusion : 30 avril 2007

S1 E33 • Eragon

Are you a fan of Star Wars but feel that there just weren't enough brain-stunningly idiotic names for your taste? Do you like the Lord of the Rings films but find they move too quickly and make too much sense? Did you enjoy The Matrix but wish it could have contained a horrendously embarrassing performance by former actor/professional picnic ham John Malkovich? Then you need help! That is, then Eragon is the film for you! Ostensibly about some punk who finds a dragon egg, Eragon is actually a poignant onscreen documentation of the decline of Jeremy Irons, whose eye bags, if there were any justice, would have received third billing. And it's also a showcase for first time actor - um- can't remember his name. Really made no impression one way or the other. (In fact, was he even in the film?) But mostly it's an opportunity to watch John Malkovich turn in a performance that had to - HAD TO - be a direct challenge to the director, "Please, fire me.I'm begging you to fire me. I'll do a take like this and then you'll have to fire me. Wait,I'm still not fired?" Kevin Murphy joins Mike in the RiffTrax International Studios (and Small Engine Repair) for Eragon, the blockbuster fantasy epic that forgets to be a blockbuster.

Première diffusion : 11 mai 2007

S1 E34 • Glitter

If you're a fan of movies that feature screaming, megalomaniacal divas and their relationships to shirtless guys, you have so far been limited to Barbra Steisand's "A Star is Born". But now, like a nut-covered cheese log from heaven comes Mariah Carey's "Glitter" - the film that, more than even her decade long string of unlistenable pop songs, landed her in the loony bin where she spent several months writing lyrics on the padded walls of her recovery room using a thick crayon held between her toes. A film that, without the barest hint of shame or irony, features as a centerpiece the Robert Palmer song, "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On." A film that, against all laws of logic and common sense, gives a prominent role to the former Mr. Halle Berry (a.k.a, Eric Benet.) No one, not even Mike, is dumb enough to take this one without some serious help. And serious help he got in the person of former MST3K cast member Mary Jo Pehl. A true RiffTrax event!

Première diffusion : 21 mai 2007

S1 E35 • Predator

Something lurks in the dense jungle. Something horrible and cruel, a creature from beyond our world. His name is Arnold Schwarzenegger. He lurks next to another unspeakable creature named Jesse Ventura. And another, goes by the handle Carl Weathers. Who himself lurks next to a monstrous slab of flesh known as Bill Duke. Together, they face down a creature who, quite understandably, hunts them for their skulls, hoping to fetch a fair price for them at the many Open Skull Markets that dot the galaxy. (If you haven't been to one, you must go. Take the kids, because the markets are very family friendly and they have these great Hawaiian Ice stands. And, of course, there's the skulls.) Predator unseals a whole tin of whoop-bottom, trotting out cliches like so many, well, like so many boiled human skulls at the terrific Open Skull Market on Nespus VIII (honestly, I know I sound like I'm raving, but it really is just a great way to spend a Saturday, and it's fairly reasonable, too.) Finally, a good use for your Predator DVD that isn't "propping up that one corner of the entertainment stand, the one whose castor you snapped off when you were moving out of that place on Spring Street because you just couldn't hack sharing a place with Beezer anymore, on account of his socks." Original film made in 1987.

Première diffusion : 1 juin 2007

S1 E36 • Grey's Anatomy: Pilot (1)

This is the hugely successful, boldly innovative show that dares to tell its story in the unlikeliest setting imaginable – a hospital! But where Grey's Anatomy really ploughs new ground is in its use of attractive young lead actors, and the moody, radio friendly hits of some of today's top artists! And unlike St. Elsewhere, Chicago Hope, ER, The Doctors, Dr. Kildare, General Hospital, Ben Casey, Scrubs, Marcus Welby, MD, Doogie Howser, MD, M*A*S*H, House, LA Doctors, Nip/Tuck, Trapper John, MD, Quincy, M.E., Strong Medicine, After MASH and Doc, this one is on Thursdays at 9:00PM on ABC. Navigating the complex emotional core of Grey's Anatomy would be impossible without the help of Bridget Nelson, a writer, performer and MST3K alum, who joins Mike for back to back episodes. Dr.'s orders – take two shows for maximum results!* *RiffTrax assumes no responsibility for pain and emotional distress caused by that last line.

Première diffusion : 11 juin 2007

S1 E36 • Grey's Anatomy: Pilot (2)

This is the second part of the "Grey's Anatomy Season One Pilot" episode and should not be numbered separately from the first part.

Première diffusion : 11 juin 2007

S1 E37 • Fantastic Four

Most film adaptations of comic books skimp on the amount of fantastic-ness, offering at best one or perhaps two units of fantastic-osity. Not Fantastic Four! It goes the extra mile by providing THREE (3) fantastic characters (plus a bonus character who's not so much fantastic as he is a fantastic irritant, in the spirit of battery acid on the skin or airplane glue in the eyes.) Plus, Fantastic Four gives you a villain who looks and acts as though he were carved out of large log of congealed tallow! And while other movies might cast Jessica Alba in a lead role and then task her with giving a performance, Fantastic Four plays to her strengths by avoiding any performance at all and instead merely parades her around in a tighter-than-skin Spandex suit. Featuring eye-popping special effects and a collection of words written down and then spoken by the actors (it would be a wild exaggeration to refer to it as a "script"), Fantastic Four gets a fantastic four star rating* from Mike and expert riffer Kevin Murphy. *Out of ten possible.

Première diffusion : 22 juin 2007

S1 E38 • Star Trek VII: Generations

Star Trek: Generations – truly a loving gift from one generation to the next. Much like that 15-pound, 10 percent water-added Danish ham that your uncle Clark who lives in Rockford mailed to you on Thanksgiving, the one that cracked open in transport and arrived at your doorstop in a brine soaked box, stinking like a week old corpse. Yes, this is the legendary Star Trek that at long last teams two of the series' most enduring elements – Scotty, and a size 74 uniform. Not to mention a performance by respected British actor Malcolm McDowell that can only be described as, well, dis-un-respect-ulating. And Klingon cleavage? Generations has it in great heaping mounds! Mike and Kevin Murphy climb once more unto the breach for a fun-filled, intergenerational riff.

Première diffusion : 2 juillet 2007

S1 E39 • 300

A small band of brave men struggle against enormous odds, battling a superior force, and though ultimately they are defeated their sacrifice becomes a source of inspiration and hope that rings out like a clarion call through the pages of history. But enough about the Mighty Ducks. 300, in contrast, is about a gang of shirtless and immoral baby-killing idiots who hack up a larger group of idiots on some cliff in Greece a couple of thousand years ago. To a soundtrack of ersatz Nine Inch Nails. Starring Gerard Butler as a shrieking inarticulate Scotsman (so in other words "a Scotsman"), 300 delivers on its promise to be the bloodiest movie since Carrie 2: Carrie vs. Saw. (Though it should be noted that in lieu of blood, 300 utilized digital globs of diluted road tar.) To make it a fair fight, Mike enlisted the help of battle veterans Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy. 3 against the 300! This…is…RIFFTRAX!

Première diffusion : 31 juillet 2007

S1 E40 • The Bourne Identity

Imagine waking up in an unfamiliar place, unable to recall where you live, what you're doing there, or even your own name. Now imagine for the first time in your life it wasn't a direct result of your downing eleven pints of Guinness and then agreeing to do a Lemon Drop shooter with Jimmy T., Spleef, and Hondo the night before at Durty Nelly's. Now imagine that you began to discover you had mysterious talents -- talents that didn't involve the ability to stand next to the open refrigerator door in your underpants and drink a half gallon of Minute Maid Pulp Free directly from the pitcher without stopping for air. Now imagine you are Matt Damon. Why, the mere thought of it is to stare into a bottomless well of agony. Yet Matt Damon awakes to that fresh horror every morning of his life (the horror of discovering that he remains Matt Damon, not all that stuff about his memory. That happens to his character in that one movie – what's it called? – The Bourne Identity. My memory's not so good.) Anyway, the point is that Bourne Identity is a pulse-pounding thriller that goes from the exotic…um, somethings of somewhere to the even more exotic – look, it's tough to recall all the little things, I'm just a little fuzzy today. Suffice it to say that Bourne Identity makes for a terrific RiffTrax – and the fact that Mike is joined by Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, well, that's just -- what do you call it, that brown runny stuff – gravy!

Première diffusion : 7 août 2007

S1 E41 • Independence Day

In every single one of the 900 million aliens-come-to-earth movies that had come before it the aliens were malevolent, bent on man's destruction, but Independence Day changed all that. Yes, the alien's were once again malevolent, but this time Judd Hirsch was in the movie! Never before had this even been dreamt of, putting Judd Hirsch in a film. It was a brazen move, one almost as stunning as casting Bill Pullman as the president of the United States as opposed to taking the obvious path and casting him as a guy at a Rapid Oil Change who says, "Ahead. Little more. Little more. Okay, stop." And never before in screen history had a person named "Vivica" done anything let alone attempt to act credibly in a movie role. Not only that, Independence Day dares to feature one of the most ineffective inspirational speeches since those delivered in a bunker in Berlin in late April 1945. For ID4, Mike is joined by both Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy, so in the words of Captain Jimmy Wilder, Kick the tires and light the fires!* *If it wouldn't be too much trouble. And we'd like to thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation in our tire kicking, fire lighting scheme.** **RiffTrax is to be held blameless for any damaged tires, bruised tarsals or burnt property as a result of any tire kicking or fire lighting engaged in by the customer.

Première diffusion : 14 août 2007

S1 E42 • Heroes: Pilot (1)

Imagine, just imagine, if ordinary citizens suddenly began to discover that they have acquired extraordinary powers. Why, you would have X-Men. But imagine if instead of acquiring X-Men-like powers of healing, time travel, mind control and the ability to fly these people instead had those powers but weren't X-Men! Why, then you'd have the very un-X-Men-like Heroes! Follow the exploits of Claire, Hiro, Peter, Logan, Scott Summers, and Jean Grey as they struggle to come to grips with powers that are so obviously not modeled after X-Men. Join Mike as he discovers his extraordinary power to riff on Heroes.

Première diffusion : 4 septembre 2007

S1 E42 • Heroes: Pilot (2)

This is the second part of the "Heroes Season One Pilot" episode and should not be numbered separately from the first part.

Première diffusion : 4 septembre 2007

S1 E43 • Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

The Sith is back, and this time he has come to make ponderous speeches to the gathered Senate and kick tail – and he's all out of ponderous speeches to the gathered Senate! Ian McDiarmid steals the show as the Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (not to be confused with the heart medication of the same name. Palpatine is not for everyone. Ask your doctor if Palpatine might be right for you.) He inhabits the character showing astonishing range: now fey and annoying, now wrinkled and laughable. As to the rest of the cast – it's the darndest thing, but I can't recall that there was anyone else even in the movie. There was a Darth Vader costume, I believe, but that was filled by a wax statue and manipulated digitally to remove any possible chance that it would be interesting in any way. And there was something called a Ewan McGregor, but further research shows that to be a technical term used by the key grip for a kind of light stand. Oh, and Natalie Portman was in it, kind of. Mike is joined by Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy on the RiffTrax for this, the Sithiest film ever made!

Première diffusion : 25 septembre 2007

S1 E44 • Raiders of the Lost Ark

The ark is lost! Who will raid it?! Clearly, there is only one man for the job: but since Ben Gazzara is unavailable, Indiana Jones will go in his stead and accomplish the needed raiding. That the shoot will take place in Tunesia where the traditional fig liquor "bokha" is readily available to cast and crew alike simply means that the raiding will get off to a particularly rousing start. Along the way Nazis will be punched (stupid Nazis probably deserved it), submarines be will clung to, and staffs of Ra will be cut to the wrong size, the error discovered and finally the correct size staff of Ra fabricated! Yes, the original blockbuster finally gets the RiffTrax treatment. Raiding with Mike are Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy. To quote the soundtrack, "Da da da-da, da da-da! Da da da-da, da da DA DA DAAAH!"

Première diffusion : 2 octobre 2007

S1 E45 • Spider-Man

When Peter Parker is bitten by one of Columbia University's many genetically engineered "super spiders" (now we know what they do with their 6 billion dollar endowment) instead of doing the sensible thing and dying, he transmogrifies into an arachnid, extruding fluids from his spinnerets, leaping about, swinging and twirling just like a spider. But being a spider naturally puts him on the bad side of Norman Osborn, the charismatic head of OsCorp Industries who manages to find enough time in his day to moonlight as an evil goblin (played by real life evil goblin Willem Dafoe.) He also finds it difficult to manage his relationship with the beautiful Mary Jane, because, well, he's a freakish wer-spider. His exoskeleton alone makes it literally impossible for him to come out of his shell until it's time to molt – and at that point he's too vulnerable for a relationship. It all makes for the most thrilling arthropod-on-human love and adventure tale ever told in the year 2002! Joining Mike are Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett and several harvestmen that live in the corners of the studio. (Yes, we know that harvestmen are not spiders. And, no, theirs is not the most poisonous venom in the world – that's just a myth.)

Première diffusion : 9 octobre 2007

S1 E46 • Next

Next, the thrilling story of a down-on-his luck magician (Nicholas Cage) who hitches a ride to Flagstaff! Not only that, he walks down into the Grand Canyon and shows a kid a rock! And can your heart stand the excitement when he gives a car to Peter Falk!? The fact that he can see two minutes into the future is just frosting on the ride-hitching, rock-showing, car-giving cake of non-stop thrills! Jessica Biel co-stars as a woman who spends one day with Nicholas Cage and rather than doing the sensible thing and running away, moving without leaving a forwarding address, and getting an unlisted phone number, actually falls in love with him! (Note: she also appears onscreen wearing no pants. This is in no way meant to encourage you to buy the RiffTrax by appealing to your prurient interests, we merely wish for our customers to make fully informed decisions where JESSICA BIEL WEARING PANTIES AND A SKIMPY SHIRT is concerned!) Joining Mike is Bridget Nelson, a Mystery Science Theater 3000 alumni (and Mikes' wife!) That's NEXT!

Première diffusion : 16 octobre 2007

S1 E47 • Missile to the Moon

The title says it all: a missile goes to the moon! Only there are people in the missile so it's not really a missile but should more precisely be referred to as a "rocket"! Still, it goes to the moon, so the title is 50 percent right, which is more than you can say for, oh, Magnolia, which is not about magnolias at all, but rather is largely comprised of Tom Cruise talking about his junk. Not only does Missile to the Moon offer a title that is half true, it also delivers a thrilling 50's era tale filled with chunk headed scientists, shapely pageant winners, and a spider that's roughly as menacing as one of the lesser Baldwin brothers. But the real star of this RiffTrax is comedy legend Fred Willard! Yes, the funniest man in America joins Mike as they take on the classic Missile to the Moon.

Première diffusion : 30 octobre 2007