Les répliques sympatoches (en VO)

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" A census taker once try to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. "

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" He DIED? And this is supposed to be a kids movie! "

" WE'RE STANDING IN A ROOM WITH A DEAD GUY !!!!! "

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" Now, a lot of you are probably wondering... why Jerry isn't with us tonight. Well, I'll tell you. The fact is he's tied up. I'm the one who tied him. Well, I know you think I'm joking... but, believe me, that's the only way... I could break into show business... by hijacking Jerry Langford. Right now, Jerry is strapped to a chair... somewhere in the middle of the city. Go ahead, laugh. Thank you. I appreciate it. But the fact is, I'm here. Now, tomorrow you'll know I wasn't kidding... and you'll think I was crazy. But, look, I figure it this way. Better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime. "

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" So i guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. "

" I don't know if you're ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. "

" These assholes actually think they're being original. "

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" I'm not lonely, i'm alone. "

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" What ? Are your saying that because he's a sloth, he can't be fast ? "

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" Friday i had a pretty cushy gig. Had lots of friends, I was the office hottie... now I'm a severed head in a fridge. Sucks to be me, Jerry. "

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" Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker. "

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" I think we've reached that point in the evening where we should leave before anything crazy happens. "

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" What kind of bird are you ? "

" Look, let's face it, you're probably a much more intelligent person than I am. In fact, I guarantee it. But even smart kids stick they're finger in electrical sockets sometimes. It takes time to figure things out. It's been proven by history. All mankind makes mistakes. It's our job to try to protect you from making the dangerous ones, if we can. "

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" - My plastic surgeon doesn't want me to do anything where balls fly at my nose.
-Well, there goes your social life. "

" I'm not prude, i'm just highly selective. "

" - Would you call me selfish ?
- No. Not to your face. "

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" You make me feel like a person. "

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" Voilà c'est moi, ça. Je vais bientôt avoir 30 ans, seul encore, avec ma gueule de moi, sans rien pouvoir y faire. Je suis moi, connement moi. "

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" People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated."

" Roses are red, violets are blue...Fuck you, whore ! "

" Do you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble ? "

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" The only person standing in your way is you."

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" - Ah la la... Ça me rappelle trop de souvenirs cet endroit ! L'époque où j'étais insoucient et con...
- T'es venu la semaine dernière ? "

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" J’imagine que, aux yeux des gens, haïr sa mère c’est un péché. Ils sont hypocrites quand même. Eux aussi ils ont haï leur mère, c’est sûr. Ça a peut-être duré une seconde, ça a peut-être duré un an, peut-être que ça ne dure plus, peut-être que ça a été oublié, mais ils l’ont quand même fait."

" - Qu'est-ce que tu ferais si je mourais aujourd'hui?
- Je mourrais demain. "

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" If you think about it relationships are all totally narcissistic. Basically, you're just looking for someone who'll love you as much as you love yourself. That's all it is."

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" I killed Liz. I killed the teen dream. Deal with it. "

" - Miss Mayo is as sweet as the days are long.
- It's a crazy world, Miss Sherwood. Some of the sweetest candies are sour as death inside. "

" - We just killed our best friend ! Do you realize what it means ?!
- You're a shoo-in for prom queen ? "

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" He just isn't sure. It's not easy to stand alone against the ridicule of others. "

" It's always difficult to keep personal prejudice out of a thing like this. And wherever you run into it, prejudice always obscures the truth. I don't really know what the truth is. I don't suppose anybody will ever really know. Nine of us seem to feel that the defendant is innocent, but we're just gambling on probabilities, we may be wrong. We may be trying to let a guilty man go free. I don't know. Nobody really can. But we have a reasonable doubt, and that's something that's very valuable in our system. No jury can declare a man guilty unless it's sure. "

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" - I'm not going to shoot you in the state you're in.
- What do you mean, state ? State of California ? I know where the fuck i am, Jack. "

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" - Wednesday's at a age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
- Boys ?
- Homicide. "

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" There are two types of people in the world: The people who naturally excel at life. And the people who hope all those people die in a big explosion. "

" You know what? I'm gonna go ahead, and I'm gonna tell you the real reason I'm having my lunch with you today. You see, I don't really have any friends, at the moment, and, to be completely honest with you, I'm not interested. At all. My entire generation is a bunch of mouth breathers. They literally have a seizure if you take their phone away for a second, they can't communicate without emojis, and they actually think that the world wants to know that they are "eating a taco, exclamation point, smiley face, smiley face", like we give a fuck. I... am an old soul. I like old music, and old movies, and even old people. I have nothing in common with the people out there, and they have nothing in common with me. "

" You know, ever since we were little, I would get this feeling like... Like I'm floating outside of my body, looking down at myself... And I hate what I see... How I'm acting, the way I sound. And I don't know how to change it. And I'm so scared... That the feeling is never gonna go away. "

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" So, if you're from Africa, why are you white ? "

" You can't sit with us. "

" I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when i met him. "

" Boo, you whore. "

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" - A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool ?
- You ?
- A billion dollars. "

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" Dear God, make me a bird, so i can fly far, far away from here. "

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(toutes les répliques de ce film sont magiques donc j'ai fait une sélection de celles qui sont pour moi les meilleures)

",- Ah non je peux pas là, j'ai une urgence.
- Rien de grave ?!
- Non, non, c'est ma mère qu'est morte."

" - Je comprends pas cette histoire de jus de fruit...
- Usufruit..."

" - Votre colin avec ou sans patates ?
- 100 patates !"

" Putain, on a tué le mort !"

" Elle, elle est gentille mais elle est moche. Mais toi t’es moche puis t’es con !"

" - Dois-je vous signaler qu'un huissier est un agent assermenté par l'État, hein ?
- Ouais ben c'est pas incompatible avec un enculé c'est plutôt un pléonasme."

" J’veux pas être déguisé en salope !"

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" - What are you doing here, honey? You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets.
- Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl. "

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" I'm so tired of seeing the same things every single day. Everybody's miserable here because everybody sees the same things. They wake up in the same bed. Same houses. Same depressing streetlights. One gas station. The grass it's not even green, it's brown. Everything's the same and everyone's just sad. "

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" - I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
- It's not a graduation. He's moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade.
- It's a ceremony !
- It's psychotic ! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity. "